- My Spouse -

Straight Female / 47

My Little Problem

I ran into some high school friends and acquaintances at a high school football event a couple of weekends ago. In the normal day to day, this all seemed innocent enough. But a little problem arose. My husband of 20 years found out or maybe figured out, that I was exclusively dating (fucking) black guys before I met him. High school, college, after college…yes, it was the truth.

It should not matter right? No, but my husband is literally wanting to divorce me over it. He says I lied to him by not telling him this fact about my dating history. Why should it matter? He contends that I ‘probably have been fucking black men all through our marriage.’ He even asked me why I was friends with black men on social media.

I am so hurt and so distraught over this. I love my husband. I can tell you honestly that I never cheated on him. Did opportunities arise, most certainly they did. But I never cheated.

That's Juicy! 21
Remove It! 6

# 67189 - by Paula / August 20, 2023

Comments

by Anonymous on Aug 20, 2023 at 11:47 PM

Honestly, if he's being an insecure racist prick good riddance. He never respected you.

I dated a guy like that. Told me he couldn't respect me for dating a black black. Glad I cheated on him and left him dry.

(4) (3)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 12:30 AM

Leave him. You deserve better

(3) (3)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 4:23 AM

You're basically telling your husband, family, friends, and everyone on social media know that you are a queen of spades. He isn't racist, he is ashamed and everyone else now knows that he is no longer the alpha male in your life. Good going girl!

(1) (5)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 6:14 AM

This is an anonymous post poster number 3. I have been married to my husband for 20 years and those sexual adventures were long ago. I was trying to get some other feedback as, for obvious reasons, this is a delicate issue to deal with. Thank you for the input so far.

(5) (0)

by logan2020 on Aug 21, 2023 at 8:37 AM

Husband here in my late 50s. Your man is definitely insecure and his ego has been bruised. It's quite possible that he'll never get over it, so I would give him the freedom of separating by telling him, that you definitely have not been with any other man since marriage but if he can't get over your past history, he's free to go.

by AdultOrphan on Aug 21, 2023 at 8:51 AM

Ok, there's a few things in here to go through. There's a school of thought that says that men marry women who they think will be a suitable mate for their offspring and therefore choose a virtuous woman with no sexual past or at least one that is kept to a minimum. He, rightly or wrongly, assumed you didn't sleep around. Now the final nail in the coffin of this ego is he found out they were black men. There's a lot of social stigma associated with white women dating black men and I'm assuming you're in the US and the racial politics of your country is long, complicated and messy to say the least.

He's not racist, he's just disgusted that his wife would do such a thing. Like I said there's a lot of racial and social stigma regarding black men. To you, it's in the past, it's ancient history, you chose him. But to him there've been many black men inside you before him. I'm loathe to say the word "insecurity" or "insecure" because I think it diminishes us guys but at the same there's a good psychological basis we are repulsed by women who have slept around.

Let me ask, why didn't you marry a black man if they were all you dated throughout your life?
What changed your mind?

On a personal note, I'd have to side with your husband, if I found out my life partner of 20 years had a sexual past that included a black man, I'd be disgusted and repulsed. Some men won't be, some would be turned on.

All the best, Paula. Keep us updated!

(5) (5)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 8:54 AM

I did not know until many years into our marriage that my wife had experienced a one night stand with a black guy during her college years.

I didn't care, because when I was single I had more than one black pu**y in my mouth.

I told her about my past with black women and she didn't care, either.

(2) (0)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 10:41 AM

Let's face it, Paula, your husband is an insecure asshole, He's neve going to forget what he considers your "infidelity," and is going to make your life a living hell because of it, even though it was before your marriage. My advice is to kick him ass out and divorce him. You can then find someone new, someone who appreciates you for who and what you are now, and not care about what has happened before your relationship began.,

(3) (1)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 12:49 PM

Well you disproved that myth thank you, you can go back!

(4) (0)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 2:14 PM

I read all of these comments.
WTF is wrong with you people?
This is the 21st century and you're still carrying on like it's Jim Crow Era.

(1) (3)

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2023 at 9:23 PM

I did not do anything wrong here. If my husband is mad at my sexual past, that is his problem. Those days were 20 years ago. I am in love with him…although this reaction has given me reason to evaluate the type of man he is. Thank you for the feedback everyone.

(7) (0)

by Anonymous on Aug 22, 2023 at 9:53 AM

Your husband doesn't own you...we all have a 'past'. For 20 years you've loved supported and given yourself only to him. If he can't understand that you married HIM as he was back then and you both moved forward then he has issues and fears that you can't deal with on your own, you'll need help with this not so little problem.

(0) (0)

by Anonymous on Aug 22, 2023 at 2:04 PM

What happened before your marriage does not mean you are or have cheated. My wife had some type of relationship with a couple of black guys in college. She is very conservative and if anything sexual happened she would not tell me about it because she would be ashamed that anything sexual happened before marriage with anyone regardless of their race. It does not upset me because it all happened before we were married, even before we met. Unless you have been cheating and he has proof I’d say he needs to grow up and apologize for being a suspicious paranoid dick.

by daddycool on Aug 22, 2023 at 7:20 PM

Leave the idiot racist a**hole. Makes no sense this infatuation racist white men have with black dicks. It's almost like they want black cocks in them and get mad when white women get them instead. Raci$t fuck$!

Do you, Paula.

(0) (1)

by Anonymous on Aug 27, 2023 at 11:37 AM

There is glaring loophole in your story. Seriously, how the hell does "running into some old high school friends" clue him into your history of "fucking black guys?" Something had to have been said or done to lead him to that conclusion. My guess is that what was said or done is the real problem. Having been out of high school for 20 years myself, I find it highly suspicious that you sparked up a conversation that even remotely had to do with who you fucked back then.

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