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My Family
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Lesbian Female / 36
An Unwanted Rejection, A New Life Married With Children
My analogy is taking the wrong exit because it was the closest one available. And then being stuck in the wrong town.
I was 26 on that way when my partner of five years ended it. I had one week to move out and not talk to her. Like a lot of girls I froze and became inconsolable. My kind male coworker offered me the couch as long as I needed it. He moved me out and set me up with him. He put house keys in my hand, told me I had free rein to take control of the kitchen, he didn't like dealing with the cleaning lady so I could do that and get him out of the middle between two women.
I never got my period, I went from lesbian to pregnant. All the -it will be good for you- wasn't comforting. In all honesty as shocking and unwelcome as it was the only acceptable answer was to get married. Telling my father I was knocked up and single wasn't something I could do. My parents didn't know about my life on the other side. Surprise, I eloped and I'm pregnant, was better than there is something I need to tell you, I'm a lesbian and living with a girl.
I never gave much thought about being a mother. The more pregnant I got the more I wanted a house, a real house with trees and a yard. I spent all my free time obsessing on houses, and my 'husband' pointing out that I couldn't afford one. He had no intention of me working, his dream was for a stay at home housewife. Honey I'm home, what's for dinner?
Long story short I have three children one planned, two accidents. But I did get a girl, with two older brothers. I lived through the agonizing crush on my pediatricians nurse. I fell totally in love with her, it's complicated but at least he was understanding. If only my first LTR had been this with a woman like her I wouldn't be married with children.
I've been asked why I don't just get divorced and be true to my feelings? But if I did? Well, I can't. I walked off the plank and landed in his hands and I can't see my life any other way. Housewife, soccer mom, chief bottle washer. I can deal with my feelings.
I was 26 on that way when my partner of five years ended it. I had one week to move out and not talk to her. Like a lot of girls I froze and became inconsolable. My kind male coworker offered me the couch as long as I needed it. He moved me out and set me up with him. He put house keys in my hand, told me I had free rein to take control of the kitchen, he didn't like dealing with the cleaning lady so I could do that and get him out of the middle between two women.
I never got my period, I went from lesbian to pregnant. All the -it will be good for you- wasn't comforting. In all honesty as shocking and unwelcome as it was the only acceptable answer was to get married. Telling my father I was knocked up and single wasn't something I could do. My parents didn't know about my life on the other side. Surprise, I eloped and I'm pregnant, was better than there is something I need to tell you, I'm a lesbian and living with a girl.
I never gave much thought about being a mother. The more pregnant I got the more I wanted a house, a real house with trees and a yard. I spent all my free time obsessing on houses, and my 'husband' pointing out that I couldn't afford one. He had no intention of me working, his dream was for a stay at home housewife. Honey I'm home, what's for dinner?
Long story short I have three children one planned, two accidents. But I did get a girl, with two older brothers. I lived through the agonizing crush on my pediatricians nurse. I fell totally in love with her, it's complicated but at least he was understanding. If only my first LTR had been this with a woman like her I wouldn't be married with children.
I've been asked why I don't just get divorced and be true to my feelings? But if I did? Well, I can't. I walked off the plank and landed in his hands and I can't see my life any other way. Housewife, soccer mom, chief bottle washer. I can deal with my feelings.
