It's In The Past.

When I was in high-school I was in the system and moved around from family to family a lot. I was never any place long. I didn't really have anyone or anything.
I use to give head for money. I'd do it for boys at school or at parties. Sometimes I'd hang out at the mall to get hit on then offer it. Since I moved around a lot no one ever caught on I did this much. I did it mostly with guys my age or school age. I did blow a security guard once who caught me shoplifting in order to get let go. He was an adult. I think I blew a few college ages guys from parties too. But it was mostly guys from my school and I did it quite a bit.

I never was messed with by the adults taking care of me. I was mostly neglected, given too much freedom, not provided for. I needed better clothes and some perks to a horrible life and really didn't care if I got the rep of being a blow whore because I knew I'd move soon and this gave me some money I needed in the meantime.

I am older and stable now. I am getting married soon and I have never told anyone this side of me. I do feel guilty and ashamed I guess because I can't bring myself to admit it to my bf. I know it's crazy but sometimes I worry we will run into someone I use to blow and ill get outted. I want to tell him, but if I do I have to tell him the full truth...and the full truth is I have sucked off a crazy large number of guys for money and given full sex to at least 6 guys for money while in the system. He knows I was in the system and my family was shit. But it will hurt for him to see me like that.
Dealing with conflict guilt.