I haven't had sex with a woman in two and half years. Last October I was making out with a woman I've been attracted to for a long time, but as we were kissing I became terribly aware that I wasn't getting an erection. No matter what we did, I couldn't get hard. Lucky for me we were still in the car in front of her place, and hadn't made it upstairs. She kind of got the idea after a little while and said goodnight. I think she didn't want to embarass me. That was the last time we went out.

This wasn't the first time it happened though. Even though I haven't been with anyone in a while, I've been to strip clubs several times with my friends in the meantime. Every time, I was limp. The very last time was in November, when I got a lap dance from a super-hot stripper, and I couldn't get it up. She knew it too, and when the song was over she kind of smiled at me like she was thinking that I was either gay or impotent.

The thing is, I'm far from impotent. I get hard all the time, but only when I put on some kind of women's underwear. I'm always alone when I do this, but I have no problem getting an erection and jerking off at home, as long as I'm wearing panties or stockings or both.

I went on vacation a few weeks ago and didn't bring any panties with me. I couldn't get it up all week, even after going without an orgasm for days on end. Finally, by the end of the week I was able to get off by thinking about dressing up, but it was tough and not very enjoyable.

I used to be able to have normal sex with women, even though I crossdressed in private and always dressed when I masturbated. Now that I'm in my thirties though, and I've been masturbating with panties and pantyhose for so long, I'm starting to realize that I can't even get aroused without them anymore.

It's got to be hard enough to tell a woman that you've been with for a while that you need to wear panties to have sex, and I always thought that when I had that conversation it would be with someone that I've built up trust with in a committed relationship. But now I can't even "get going" without women's underwear.

So what do I do? Either I have to be prepared to tell every woman I might have sex with that I have to wear panties to get aroused -- and I'm sure most of them will reject me just based on that, let alone tell people about it. Or I just can't date at all.