I Just Want My Life To Be Normal

I was a 28 year old Marketing Department proof reader. A new hire, a 24 year old finance girl caught me from the moment I met her. Honestly I was trying hard to move past women. She lived at home in a difficult situation, tripling up with her sisters. First high school graduate, first college graduate. In part she had stayed away from men. I misunderstood, not that she had a lesbian makeup, but because she had been abused sexually by her father. He was on an arrest warrant and took his life. I learned this in a crying and emotional release, I was the first outside her family she talked about it with.

I felt bad for trying a sexually motivated move on her. Fortunately she missed the pass and took for a genuine interest on my part. She attached herself to me and I had to play big sister. I invited her to move in with me. I slept with her a room away from me. Holding off being sexual or intimate was the worst ever self control exercise.

My senior boss, mentor, had eyes for me. He decided to visit me, not the first time either. She was there when he wanted me in the bedroom. Rather than fight or resist I went with him. First time I volunteered myself to him. His excitement was palpable and he spent the night with me. Explaining to her wasn't easy. How do you say I'd rather you slept with me?

When we were told to work from home, this man took it upon himself to check in on me. And get his 'fix' from me. The more he got, the more he wanted, the more he wanted, the easier it was for him to impregnate me. I felt that I was now so distant from her. The home work situation got tighter and tighter, twenty four seven with her, my heart crying inside of me. Alone in bed and her next door to me. Any pretenses of not being in love with her. I broke down and confessed my love for her. She sat next to me, if I was in love with her why had I waited to tell her?

The next time my male friend came to see me I told him how I felt about her. It was out. Now what?

I am new at this, how to break the ice with her?, how to stay in my male's good graces? I couldn't very well push him away, stuck in the middle between them. He invited her bed with us, let her initiate who she wanted to be with. A man, after being m****ted, or be lesbian. She cuddled up with him. He took advantage of the situation. After he let go of her she came over to me. Keep him happy, and he won't interfere with us. That was her solution.

Three years later, with a three year old, she 'lives' with me. Lives as is part of my life. Where the line is drawn between lesbian and accommodation, depends on the day, and how he reads us.