Alone Without My Office Family

It all started with me telling him that my friend was going out with this man. He was visibly upset about it, he knows her. I said something like what if I dated one of those men? He stood and told me I had better not. So I said something like you can't tell me what to do. He looked at me 'you do not have permission to disobey me'.

I shut up and told him I wasn't going to disobey him. But why did I have to obey and he never laid down the law with other girls in the office. 'You belong to me'.

He did lay down the law and most always the girls obeyed him. He was the 'man of the house' at the office and that was that, and he kept his girls on the straight line. But with me, he was more than paternal, he had me booked as 'his woman'.

It was the night of the Christmas party when he was going around saying high to his girls, shaking hands with husbands, talking to mothers in law, that he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him. I could only put my hand in his chest and throw my other arm around him. I was then and forever his 'woman' and everybody knew it.

When I showed up pregnant no one questioned who done it, he got congratulations from the girls, and some of the men too. I got tummy pats, and kisses on the cheek. One of my coworkers asked me if he was going to marry me.

Things are different, my coworkers are my sisters, my days were busy. But now that I'm nursing at home I'm alone, I can't keep bothering them, I don't have anyone to talk to. I wait all day for him to come home and tell me how everyone is doing. Everyone I know goes through it, but for me it's different, I don't have a real family, it's just me and the baby.