If You Walk Like A Man, Talk Like A Man, Act Like A Man And Suck Dick?

You are a homosexual.

Recently, within the last six months, I agreed to enter an intervention for my homosexual behavior prior to my divorce. Wife found out that I had a sucked a guy off. The woman leading the intervention asked me if I had started early. Well, I said it wasn't early, it was like 7:30. She looks at me, take it seriously. Did you share homosexual behavior with another boy when you were children? What? Are you kidding? Well, once I did suck the cock of a boy in swim class. See, she told me, that is what we are looking for. Behavior that confirms you have had homosexual tendencies all your life.

Lady, I said sucking a boy's peepee when you are ten isn't homosexual tendencies.

Do you daydream about men? Well, I don't daydream, I tell her. Everyone fantasizes, dreams, do you have sexual dreams about having sex with a man. No, not really.

What does not really mean? Sure I've thought about it, everyone does. See, that proves you have homosexual tendencies.

Have you kissed a man? Sure, I kissed my father and grandfather. No, a man, have you kissed a man sexually? Not that I can remember. How can you not remember, either you did or you didn't kiss a man. Well, once, when I was in college, we were kidding around and I lost a bet and I kissed a guy. Are you going to tell me that proves I have homosexual tendencies? I'm the professional here, I'll decide what is or is not a homosexual tendency. Did you enjoy kissing that 'guy'? I don't remember, it was a bet.

I see, so you kissed a guy in front of your friends and you don't remember whether you enjoyed it or not? That's right. Did you feel dirty, disgusting? No, not really. It was a bet.

You are not helping.

When you entered into this 'relationship' with another man, were you attracted to him? I don't know, I met up with him from a dating sight on the internet. So you were not attracted? No I didn't say that. So you were attracted? No I didn't say that either. It was a dating sight, anyone will do.

But you admit that you had sex with this man? If you call sucking his dick sex, then yes I did. But frankly sucking dick was never sex, that's what the girls always told me, sex is when stick your dick in their pussy. No, that's not right, sex is any form of sexual exchange of intimate behavior. Oh, so it was sex. I guess I need to call all these girls who sucked my dick that they were having sex with me. That's different. You aren't helping.

Did you have penetrating sex? No. No penetration. Unless you call sucking his dick, which technically means he penetrated my mouth with his dick, penetration. Yes, if he penetrated your mouth, that is penetration. OK so I had penetrating sex. That is a homosexual tendency. Allowing another man to penetrate you. That I'm afraid is exactly homosexual activity.

So what are you saying, I had homosexual activity? I told you, I sucked his dick. I know that.

You misunderstand, you are a homosexual. You don't want to admit it.

OK, I'm not a homosexual. How about that? You don't understand, we are here to determine if you are a homosexual, not whether you believe you are a homosexual. OK so I sucked a dick, let's leave it at that.

The report, which is used by the opposing lawyer to extract great sums of money out of you, says that I am a homosexual. Period. No softening of the charge. Not, participated in homosexual activity, which I agreed already that I sucked his dick. And that kid in swimming.

I am not a homosexual.

You are a homosexual in denial. Nevertheless you are a homosexual.

Divorce granted, half of everything, plus her whole part, and half of what you have left for the lawyers.

So I get nothing? Right, you are homosexual and you violated your wedding vows, you are a pervert. You're lucky we don't have your dick cut off. (that last part I'm making up for illustration purposes).

After the divorce and I get to keep my two pennies, my wife in a nonchalant way asked what was I going to do. I answered, in a nonchalant way. I'm going to be an internet male prostitute, suck dick for profit.