A Man Interfered With My Dream Of Becoming A Nun

Ever since I can remember I wanted to become a Nun. I worked hard and went to Mass two times a week and attended a girl's school for Catholic girls. In my senior year, before I graduated, a man friend of my father's got me pregnant. He did it on purpose to stop me from becoming a Nun.

I had my child, and then a next one and then another one before he married me. I had to renounce my desires to become a Nun and swear that I was committed solely to him. He allowed me to get a college degree, although it took several years. However, I wasn't allowed to work outside the home. The age difference always got in the way, on the one hand he was my husband and on the other he was old enough to be my father.

I learned that in these situations the father part takes command. He really never saw me as a wife, only as a daughter. And one that he had to keep strict order on. Only when it was dark, in the silence of the bedroom did he treat me like a wife, and then only for the time it took for him to accomplish his errand with me.

I am used to it, I suppose. I do have liberties to go to Mass. At times I wonder what my life would have been being a Nun, and not a wife. But that was not for me, my master would not be my Lord in Heaven, my master was in my house.