Straight Male / 62
The Gay Girls That Moved In Next Door
As things happen a couple of gay women moved in next door. No, not hot, two overly ordinary not pretty women with pounds to spare. "Nothing to look at folks, move on." One of them, I'll refer to her as the Virgin Mary (VM) is the obvious Butch, Dyke, wears the pants, etc. The other Little Miss Muffet (LMM) is the obvious femme, housewife, washes VM's pants. They both were rather obnoxious to me, as I fly the US FLAG outside my house.
Yes, I have to do that, I told VM. Why? She asked. Because it pleases me, I tell her. But it offends us? Well, frankly you offend me, living such a sinful life, take it back to where you came from, people like you aren't wanted here.
LMM is outside, I can see her from my window in the den, no fences in our neighborhood. She is trying to wash down a grill they got, I'm assuming as a g*ft or fire sale or whatever. She's got on a pair of shorts that cling tight to her when she bends over. Pretty much confirming there ain't no balls there. I watch till it's unbearable and walk across the yard. HEY, what you doing? You're not going to get anywhere with than hose, other than to cake those ashes up hard as concrete. She looks at me, perplexed. HEY, sweety, I tell her, back off and let me have a look.
That was the beginning of this oddball relationship. Without any balls in the house, or experience that comes with being born with balls, things are going to hell in a handbasket. Her partner, that's what she calls VM, is a landman (love the word for that bitch) and is out most of the day, sometimes overnight. Look, I tell LMM, I'll make you deal, you cook me dinner and I'll walk the property and see what needs fixing. I find several things that I don't like, like the bookcase leaning against the wall, not tied down. That puppy falls on you, I tell LMM, your a goner. The back burner on the stove won't light. I clean the terminals and the gas pilot and low and behold, we have fire. I tell her that the best she can do is ditch that old cooker and get a new one at ACE, they deliver and they assemble.
I'm an old man, LMM is a half my age, but weighs just as much. Her shorts are climbing up her crotch something awful so I point it out. Looks like you're a girl, no need to point it out. She gets upset that I called her out on her 'toe'. I notice she's got floppies, that's what we called tits like that back in my day, has nothing to do with computers. I get her to show me them floppies, that and take off her pants. YOU want it don't you? She's such a pussy, she just opens wide and I poke around inside and leave her nice load of face cream to fight off the wrinkles.
I say, look LLM, what gives? I thought you were a lesbian? She says, I am, but when Mama's away Baby wants to play, and I always liked a big man. So you go both ways? Uhum, she says, And with that she says she wants to suck my dick. LLM and me, we are friends with benefits, when Mama is away LLM likes to play. I ain't that picky, I like them floppy tits of hers and that she likes to play hide the weenie with me.
So I fly my flag, go over to help out when I can, VM doesn't like me hanging around. But LLM is a wonderful, cooks good, and I eat good, so we make a team, and she likes to play adult games, parlor games, cards and such. You take off a piece if you get a bad hand, and I take off a piece if I get a bad hand, until there ain't anything more to take off and she lets me poke around in her most personal business and she smothers my face with her floppy tits, whispering in my ear 'I'm bi', whatever that means.
Yes, I have to do that, I told VM. Why? She asked. Because it pleases me, I tell her. But it offends us? Well, frankly you offend me, living such a sinful life, take it back to where you came from, people like you aren't wanted here.
LMM is outside, I can see her from my window in the den, no fences in our neighborhood. She is trying to wash down a grill they got, I'm assuming as a g*ft or fire sale or whatever. She's got on a pair of shorts that cling tight to her when she bends over. Pretty much confirming there ain't no balls there. I watch till it's unbearable and walk across the yard. HEY, what you doing? You're not going to get anywhere with than hose, other than to cake those ashes up hard as concrete. She looks at me, perplexed. HEY, sweety, I tell her, back off and let me have a look.
That was the beginning of this oddball relationship. Without any balls in the house, or experience that comes with being born with balls, things are going to hell in a handbasket. Her partner, that's what she calls VM, is a landman (love the word for that bitch) and is out most of the day, sometimes overnight. Look, I tell LMM, I'll make you deal, you cook me dinner and I'll walk the property and see what needs fixing. I find several things that I don't like, like the bookcase leaning against the wall, not tied down. That puppy falls on you, I tell LMM, your a goner. The back burner on the stove won't light. I clean the terminals and the gas pilot and low and behold, we have fire. I tell her that the best she can do is ditch that old cooker and get a new one at ACE, they deliver and they assemble.
I'm an old man, LMM is a half my age, but weighs just as much. Her shorts are climbing up her crotch something awful so I point it out. Looks like you're a girl, no need to point it out. She gets upset that I called her out on her 'toe'. I notice she's got floppies, that's what we called tits like that back in my day, has nothing to do with computers. I get her to show me them floppies, that and take off her pants. YOU want it don't you? She's such a pussy, she just opens wide and I poke around inside and leave her nice load of face cream to fight off the wrinkles.
I say, look LLM, what gives? I thought you were a lesbian? She says, I am, but when Mama's away Baby wants to play, and I always liked a big man. So you go both ways? Uhum, she says, And with that she says she wants to suck my dick. LLM and me, we are friends with benefits, when Mama is away LLM likes to play. I ain't that picky, I like them floppy tits of hers and that she likes to play hide the weenie with me.
So I fly my flag, go over to help out when I can, VM doesn't like me hanging around. But LLM is a wonderful, cooks good, and I eat good, so we make a team, and she likes to play adult games, parlor games, cards and such. You take off a piece if you get a bad hand, and I take off a piece if I get a bad hand, until there ain't anything more to take off and she lets me poke around in her most personal business and she smothers my face with her floppy tits, whispering in my ear 'I'm bi', whatever that means.
- That's Juicy! 16
- Remove It! 3
