Emasculated

My wife and I are the only people we've had sex with. I have always known I had a small penis and always wondered if she would enjoy more. Then I saw penis sleeves on the internet. I started to use a penis sleeve on my 4.5 incher over half the time we have sex. My wife seems to really like it. In fact she has said she loved it. Her sweet spot is 7.5 - 8 long and 5.5 - 6 around. Which is so similar to what you find other women saying. She never says no to me wearing it and never asks for just me. It was fun at first but now i feel like I need to use it to satisfy her and I feel it may disappoint her sometimes when I don't. I tried talking to her about it (feeling inadequate) and she said you can't change what you have but didn't suggest we stop using them or reassure me that I please her without it. It was my idea to start using them. I like pleasing my wife and was curious to see how important size matters to a woman. I think she was only thinking of her pleasure and didnt see how much it was bothering me. I now feel inadequate and hurt. I secretly question that if she had previous sexual experiences she may not have continued to date me. In a way I feel my life is a sham. I am now obsessed with my size and would love for her to measure me, compare me to the toys and tease me. I always get envious when i see guys that are big and long and imagine how my wife would like it.