I've Changed So Much It's Scary

I am widowed now for 3 years. My husband was only my second guy, the first was one time at a party, I think I was slipped something and woke up with him beside me, us naked, and sperm between my legs. I was appalled, he insisted I was awake and gave consent. I actually hit him several times. I was only 14, though I did look like I was at least 18. I met my husband when I was 18 and at 20 (he was very patient) we had sex. I was apprehensive at first it took me several times over a couple of weeks to relax, and then he went down on me. I came and I wanted more and more. We had a girl, now fully grown and married on her own. We were compatible certainly, I let him use my mouth, I swallowed like a good little wifey, and he sometimes put it in my butt. I enjoyed our sex, came several times when we'd do it, but didn't cum from buttsex.

It's been 3 years, and I have changed so damn much, I really don't recognize myself. I always stayed in pretty good shape but got a little flabby. I went to the gym, toned up, even had my boobs uplifted, not made bigger, in fact went from a DD to a larger C cup. After a few dinner dates with a man I met we were at the time to have sex or split up. I didn't want to disappoint though I really didn't want to have sex with him. We did and it was good for us both. He got me into other positions, and I started responding. I mean really responding verbally.

I don't know what came over me, but I started asking for, demanding, instructing for him to do some of the most vile things to me. I was using language I literally never even uttered before. It wasn't that I wanted sex in my vag, I told him to ram his cock into my c**t. I rolled over and told him to stick it up my ass, to buttfuck me, indeed to hurt me, make my ass wish I'd never asked for his big cock. He fucked me three times during the night and he was calling me the next day over and over again.

I've now had sex with him many times, and I've had sex with three other men regularly. With each one I am the most vile, foul mouthed person. I almost don't believe I'm the one saying these things. I even call myself names. I've even very quitely while taking off my clothes, bared my pussy and asked if they want to fuck my slut c**t. I call myself slut and whore, I've asked to be r**ped by them. I have to curtail my others and just have sex with Tony now for a while. He wrote things on me with magic marker. They don't come off that easily. He wrote "Tony's sloppy c**t" over my pussy, and on my ass " $2 whore" "Cum Whore" above my tits.

I went from the nice quiet church mom, soccer mom to a horrible verbal slut and I don't know where it came from at all. I never had the urge to talk like that, or even use that kind of language before. But I think I like sex a lot better than I used to.