Used To Do Anal, Now Want It And Can't

After my last child I got hemorroids pretty bad. I used to let my husband have anal sex with me which was usually a couple times a week. He always brought me off first with his mouth and tongue, or his cock in my pussy. I don't cum from anal. But then he'd switch to anal and cum deep inside my butthole, I actually liked that a lot except for the toilet problems but ???

I had to stop, and I was really afraid that he'd go elsewhere, he is in great shape and handsome, he could easily find a young woman to have anal sex. I don't think he has, I've done some more stuff for him to keep things interesting. but that is not the problem. It's been 4 years now without anal, and I just can't do it, I've tried putting a single finger in me and it hurts too much. However; I started wanting it. I mean really really wanting it. I want to be fucked in my ass. I really think I'd cum from it I want it so badly. I just can't do it.

Now that I can't, I want it ! Go figure.