Wife Thinking Of Other Men

My wife came back from her work Christmas party last weekend and was extremely drunk and horny when she came home. She wanted some action but kept being very verbally abusive which was a first for her. I asked her what had gotten into her and she said she just needed fucking and if I was going to be the one to do it or not?
I was pretty turned on by this point and loved what I thought was confidence in a woman that knows what she wants, was I silly to overlook this thought..probably. So I thought nothing off it until we start ripping each others clothes off and she starts whispering naughty things saying that there were so many men out tonight that were looking at her and she could tell that they wanted her. I asked her if there was anyone that caught her eye and she said that if she told me I would just get jealous which was true but I had this strange feeling of being turned on by the thought even though I hated it.
So I pushed for something I knew I didn’t want to hear and she starts saying ‘babe you know how horny I get after a few drinks that I struggle to keep my legs closed and right now I need a good fucking’
At this point I got so worked up and asked her if she had considered fucking someone she had met, and she point blank said ‘if you want to share your wife then I’m up for it but I know you won’t be able to handle seeing another man take control of me’
Then her phone lit up on the side table and I caught a few WhatsApp messages popping up from a person called Tom,
She was too drunk to notice but it said
‘ your arse looked amazing tonight, would have loved to get a proper feel, until next time ;)’ ‘I now understand why you said your husband admires it so much, maybe I should leave a mark next time for him to find’
As we were fucking she mumbled what I thought was his name while making sexy moaning sounds at the same time and it fucked with my head because the thought of sharing my wife and her thinking of other men made me feel weak as a man.
I thought she wouldn’t be like the kind of women you read about on here but it’s making me sad. What’s worse is that women can pretty much have any guy they want, I’ve never stepped outside our marriage over the years when I was younger and when I could easily have because I’ve always wanted to do right by her but now I feel like a complete idiot for wasting opportunities. I don’t even know how to get by, accept it for what it is or try to find the confidence to do the same even though two wrongs will never make it right. Even typing this confession is making me want to cry, I fucking hate this feeling!