Lesbian Female / 67
Harsh To Many Perhaps But We Adapted And Made The Most Of Our Life
It runs in the family, my maternal grandmother was a butch lesbian, as am I, and now it's obvious to me my brother's oldest daughter is too. But, we are all Latinas from below the border, of an important and wealthy family. All educated abroad, my grandmother went to Stanford in her day, I am a Columbia graduate, my niece graduated from Northwestern.
My grandfather was the proverbial male alpha, ran his business and his home with an iron fist. He married my grandmother much the same way I was married off. Fast, imposed, 'now you are going to learn what you are'. She arrived home after graduation and was married off in two months. She had four children by the time she was twenty five. I arrived home with my degree to meet my husband for the first time, married off in six weeks. Pregnant by nightfall.
In those days the Priest repeated to me the 'Obedience' vow, 'Do you promise to obey your husband?' . The ceremony didn't move on until I said 'I Do' out loud, I chocked the first three times. I was just turned 22, never kissed by a man. My girlfriend, we were lovers since the tenth grade, suffered her fate six months later. Girls like us were rushed into marriage to strong willed no nonsense men, who managed their homes with a short leash. She woke up pregnant from her 'wedding night'.
My grandmother was my refuge, she helped me accept my fate, to recognize that for us, girls like us, it was far better to be married off to strong men. Accept it and move on, much like life prisoners accept their fate, or go crazy. I myself have two children. One day you may understand what it takes to be impregnated by a man. I, like my sister, am married to a financially independent man and have lacked nothing except my freedom in my life.
One day, a summer day, my girlfriend and her family were at our house for Sunday dinner after Church. Her husband mistreated her, slapped her in front of us and the children. My husband came out of his chair and with one blow rendered him unconscious. He laid down the law, from that day forward he took responsibility for her and her children, giving me and my children strict orders, we were to incorporate them into our lives, and care for each other. They divorced after a bitter custody fight.
A fate we could never have imagined, we were now free to be together, sisters together, we cried and held each other. God himself had intervened for us. It's been forty years now, we respected my husband, never once disobeyed his mandate to take care of each other.
Now my niece struggles. I took it upon myself to introduce her to a man who can be a strong husband, make her his wife. If luck comes her way, she may have a special friend in her life. But unmarried, without children her destiny is to live a life unfulfilled, vacant, lonely. There is no future for her. Far better a man, children, than growing old alone, a cold hearted matron. We all know them, God defend us from that fate.
As to my grandmother her maid and attendant was by her side until she died. The family took care of her life companion until her death at ninety two.
My grandfather was the proverbial male alpha, ran his business and his home with an iron fist. He married my grandmother much the same way I was married off. Fast, imposed, 'now you are going to learn what you are'. She arrived home after graduation and was married off in two months. She had four children by the time she was twenty five. I arrived home with my degree to meet my husband for the first time, married off in six weeks. Pregnant by nightfall.
In those days the Priest repeated to me the 'Obedience' vow, 'Do you promise to obey your husband?' . The ceremony didn't move on until I said 'I Do' out loud, I chocked the first three times. I was just turned 22, never kissed by a man. My girlfriend, we were lovers since the tenth grade, suffered her fate six months later. Girls like us were rushed into marriage to strong willed no nonsense men, who managed their homes with a short leash. She woke up pregnant from her 'wedding night'.
My grandmother was my refuge, she helped me accept my fate, to recognize that for us, girls like us, it was far better to be married off to strong men. Accept it and move on, much like life prisoners accept their fate, or go crazy. I myself have two children. One day you may understand what it takes to be impregnated by a man. I, like my sister, am married to a financially independent man and have lacked nothing except my freedom in my life.
One day, a summer day, my girlfriend and her family were at our house for Sunday dinner after Church. Her husband mistreated her, slapped her in front of us and the children. My husband came out of his chair and with one blow rendered him unconscious. He laid down the law, from that day forward he took responsibility for her and her children, giving me and my children strict orders, we were to incorporate them into our lives, and care for each other. They divorced after a bitter custody fight.
A fate we could never have imagined, we were now free to be together, sisters together, we cried and held each other. God himself had intervened for us. It's been forty years now, we respected my husband, never once disobeyed his mandate to take care of each other.
Now my niece struggles. I took it upon myself to introduce her to a man who can be a strong husband, make her his wife. If luck comes her way, she may have a special friend in her life. But unmarried, without children her destiny is to live a life unfulfilled, vacant, lonely. There is no future for her. Far better a man, children, than growing old alone, a cold hearted matron. We all know them, God defend us from that fate.
As to my grandmother her maid and attendant was by her side until she died. The family took care of her life companion until her death at ninety two.
