Fallen, Rock Bottom, Back In A Warm Bed Tonight, Best Christmas Ever

I drove to my parents unannounced following an ugly breakup. I arrived the day my father had a heart attack from which he did not recover. My mother accused me of triggering his heart attack. My parents never accepted my life style, they never believed It was anything other than a choice. The funeral was the most lost and alone I ever felt.

An old family friend offered me a room. I had little choice, out of money, without a job, my family was my last hope. Now I did not have that.

I did what I could to help, light housework. I offered but he didn't need help, he had a cleaning service and was self sufficient with cooking. Helpless I never felt lower than I did those days after my father's funeral. The news didn't get better, my father's life insurance barely covered the funeral, next to no savings, 401K exhausted. My father was broke, bankrupt. That's why he had a heart attack, the house was being repossessed.

All these things are behind me turning to prostitution. At first I entertained women, but I soon turned to men. The money was so much better.

I look back at those months of my life, a man with no name had me for the first time. The lesbian community I had believed in turned it's back on me. It was a very sobering reality. The old saying, kick them when they're down turned out to be true. A man was the one who rescued me. I learned the hard way, men weren't the monsters I had come to believe.

I'm in a lesbian relationship, with a lady I met along the way. I have a desk job working for an open minded man. My mother keeps her feeling to herself. I don't need her words, her face tells it all. My shame is having turned to prostitution for three years to pay my way.