Lesbian Female / 44
I Didn't 'read' Lesbian
Quick background, I had a very unhappy childhood, which extended into high school. I had friends but no close friends. I never dated. I hated the kitchen and refused helping my mother. I was a good student, and had a strong attraction to science. My sister, one year younger, was popular, always had a boyfriend, parties, loved to dress sexy, wore pushup bras and tight pants. She wanted boys to notice her, and if a boy got a hand full of titty she laughed it off.
I wasn't allowed to leave for college until my sister graduated the following year and we went together. She immediately got a boyfriend, much older, and he got her in bed and she got what she wanted. I learned she had been on birth control since she was fifteen after loosing her virginity.
In my senior year I was part of a study group. Three females, one male. The archetypical Alpha. He insisted I serve him, never asked the other girls. I made the copies, he reviewed the paper. One afternoon he showed up uninvited. He caught me in a thin blouse braless. He immediately told me to show him my tits. He used the word 'tits'. I was so embarrassed I ran to my room and my sister had to deal with him. She invited him to a party at her boyfriends, she told me to wear a revealing top and very tight shorts. I felt exposed and stup!d.
He trapped me in the kitchen, cornered against the counter. He grabbed my tits, and told me he was going to fuck me. He led me upstairs by the wrist, in an empty bedroom forced my top off and got to my tits. Pushing me on the bed he pulled off my shorts and panties, I was totally naked in front of him. He undressed in front of me, his erection staring at me, eye level as I was sitting on the side of the bed. Touching my face with his penis, he pushed me onto my back and fucked me. I wasn't on birth control and I became pregnant.
I got married three weeks later, two days before my parents came for our graduation. My sister broke the news to them, she got fucked and had to get married. My mother's first words were 'it was about time, a man who could control me'.
What I didn't know but others suspected, I am a lesbian. I had never met a lesbian until I met the nurse at the baby doctor's who told me I exhibited all the lesbian signals, like total distaste for any form of sex with my husband. I got divorced after the birth of my son, and slowly gravitated towards my new world. I met a girl who worked with me, who came out to me in confidence. I told her I knew, I was one too.
My life is ruled by my ex husband, he calls all the shots for me. Where I live, who my friends are. I have his permission to be with my girlfriend, she's soft like he likes them, attentive to him. Our son is in college, has tons of girlfriends. He brings different girls home, I'm anxious to see which one is the one. My guess is she will be soft and malleable, attentive and affectionate.
I went to a psychologist when I was younger, to try to understand my dependence and subjugation to my husband. Transference, he's taken the place of your father. Like my father I don't have sex with him, like my father he is everything. Fear of disappointing him keeps me in line.
I wasn't allowed to leave for college until my sister graduated the following year and we went together. She immediately got a boyfriend, much older, and he got her in bed and she got what she wanted. I learned she had been on birth control since she was fifteen after loosing her virginity.
In my senior year I was part of a study group. Three females, one male. The archetypical Alpha. He insisted I serve him, never asked the other girls. I made the copies, he reviewed the paper. One afternoon he showed up uninvited. He caught me in a thin blouse braless. He immediately told me to show him my tits. He used the word 'tits'. I was so embarrassed I ran to my room and my sister had to deal with him. She invited him to a party at her boyfriends, she told me to wear a revealing top and very tight shorts. I felt exposed and stup!d.
He trapped me in the kitchen, cornered against the counter. He grabbed my tits, and told me he was going to fuck me. He led me upstairs by the wrist, in an empty bedroom forced my top off and got to my tits. Pushing me on the bed he pulled off my shorts and panties, I was totally naked in front of him. He undressed in front of me, his erection staring at me, eye level as I was sitting on the side of the bed. Touching my face with his penis, he pushed me onto my back and fucked me. I wasn't on birth control and I became pregnant.
I got married three weeks later, two days before my parents came for our graduation. My sister broke the news to them, she got fucked and had to get married. My mother's first words were 'it was about time, a man who could control me'.
What I didn't know but others suspected, I am a lesbian. I had never met a lesbian until I met the nurse at the baby doctor's who told me I exhibited all the lesbian signals, like total distaste for any form of sex with my husband. I got divorced after the birth of my son, and slowly gravitated towards my new world. I met a girl who worked with me, who came out to me in confidence. I told her I knew, I was one too.
My life is ruled by my ex husband, he calls all the shots for me. Where I live, who my friends are. I have his permission to be with my girlfriend, she's soft like he likes them, attentive to him. Our son is in college, has tons of girlfriends. He brings different girls home, I'm anxious to see which one is the one. My guess is she will be soft and malleable, attentive and affectionate.
I went to a psychologist when I was younger, to try to understand my dependence and subjugation to my husband. Transference, he's taken the place of your father. Like my father I don't have sex with him, like my father he is everything. Fear of disappointing him keeps me in line.
