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Lesbian Stories
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Lesbian Female / 68
A Lifetime Ago Decisions Had To Be Made
In 1978 I was married so I could leave my country and become a resident in the US. I was 23, and I had been exposed as a lesbian. Unable to work, to be a member of society, a man was hired to marry me and transport me out of the country.
In five years I had a profession, a respectable professional job, hidden behind my 'husband's' name and persona. I needed more, I couldn't continue living with out a future. The man who I was married to looked after me. My life with him was clinical, a bodyguard and protector.
I asked him if he would let me find a person to be close to. I knew this girl I had feelings for. He said no, too dangerous. I hadn't spoken to my family since I left. I lived a lonely life. I begged him to formalize the marriage, let me feel the human closeness I needed. In a lapse of professional responsibility he had sex with me. It was masturbation with another human being.
Once, then twice, then a dozen times. I was married to him, sex with him couldn't be a sin. I started to play my part. He let me have children. Let me 'be' married. Twenty years, then thirty, we lived a middle class life. He was always distant, a job. He didn't leave, the original agreement was to divorce after my papers were secure. In the passage of time I met and developed a platonic relationship with another married woman.
Now, 45 years later I retired, I can travel, my friend divorced and she is family. We can travel together. He, is the same, distant, a professional husband.
In five years I had a profession, a respectable professional job, hidden behind my 'husband's' name and persona. I needed more, I couldn't continue living with out a future. The man who I was married to looked after me. My life with him was clinical, a bodyguard and protector.
I asked him if he would let me find a person to be close to. I knew this girl I had feelings for. He said no, too dangerous. I hadn't spoken to my family since I left. I lived a lonely life. I begged him to formalize the marriage, let me feel the human closeness I needed. In a lapse of professional responsibility he had sex with me. It was masturbation with another human being.
Once, then twice, then a dozen times. I was married to him, sex with him couldn't be a sin. I started to play my part. He let me have children. Let me 'be' married. Twenty years, then thirty, we lived a middle class life. He was always distant, a job. He didn't leave, the original agreement was to divorce after my papers were secure. In the passage of time I met and developed a platonic relationship with another married woman.
Now, 45 years later I retired, I can travel, my friend divorced and she is family. We can travel together. He, is the same, distant, a professional husband.
