No Offense, But I'm Using Every Means To Get My Message Out

I was the proverbial rebellious teen making poor life choices. I ended up at a McDonald's on I-35 south of Waco hungry and unwashed. The lady who intervened took a picture of me to send my parents, after six weeks on the run I had lost 25 pounds, hadn't bathed or washed my hair. She put me in her car, I didn't want to go that's why I said 'put'. She drove me to her home and again 'put' me in the shower while she fixed something warm for me to eat. She put my clothes in the trash and brought some clothes that more or less fit me, they were her daughter's who had died of an OD when she was 15.

To put it bluntly, I had my ass straightened out. Not pleasant, she was harsh on me and kept me in rehab until I was clean. I ran home to my mother. But her shock therapy worked. I stayed in school and finished and went to college, a totally different girl. I had fattened up considerably, I was in sports and had muscle and my eyes were clear, but I had the scars of using.

I debated with myself as to whether I deserved children, considering how I had turned out. I couldn't face having a child like me. But in the end it wasn't by choice, it was nature's imposing itself on me. Young and fertile nature put me in the hands of young and potent. A deadly combination. Growing a baby inside me, pushing it out into the world, nursing and nurturing all helped me grow up.

I'm grateful to that lady (I know her name but out of respect I won't give it here). I needed a good ass whipping and she gave it to me. Don't get the idea that when you're being retrained and deprogrammed that life is easy. It was physical, so much raw military style training, I was stuffed with 'good' food to gain weight, measured week by week until I was a healthy 145 pounds. I learned my ABCs all over again. How to hold a fork, and how to set the table. This 'outfit' as they called themselves, was going to make Navy Seals out of us. I wasn't alone, other shit heads were getting their ass kicked there.

I walked out of there after six months so strong I scared myself, I could not only lift, I could toss and bust ass if I wanted to. I ran a 5K as if it was nothing, I gained weight but it was sculpted and everything. Girls didn't wear bras there, we wore these tight fitting strap things that kept your boobs from bouncing around when you were running. Taped down is more appropriate. NO SEX, PERIOD! The rumor was that if you had sex they would seal your vagina off and cut the balls off the boys. We kept our legs crossed.

After college I spent three years in the Marine Corp, where they make a man out of you. Don't get in my way grasshopper, I will mow you down and keep advancing. My tattoos looked silly, so infantile, when a tattoo of the Marine Corp Emblem is the ONLY appropriate tattoo, maggot. I was an officer, not a high ranking one, but an officer, I went after college where I was in the ROTC program. Until Joe, good ol' Joe, took advantage of me and knocked me up and I resigned my commission to take care of my baby. YES, sweet old me wanted to stay home and play Mommy.

Well, maybe this will reach someone, some boy or girl who wants to run away, some Mom or Dad who needs to set down discipline. I have a guardian Angel, but don't you count on it, Angels aren't around for everyone. Yes, Yes, Yes, I named my baby after my Guardian Angel's daughter, taken from her by the sum bags peddling. With her permission, I wouldn't presume to name her with out getting her permission.