To My Surprise Co-living With Another Wife Turns Out It's Meant To Be

I met Sam on vacation. We lived in the same city and hooked up and it became an affair and then we got married. I knew when I got married that Sam had an ex, a girl he married in college and divorced a year after. When I'm going through the paperwork from his work for benefits last year I find out she is his beneficiary, on his life policy, 401K and she is his ''contact" for medical emergencies. OK, but they have been divorced five years.

I gently tell him that these papers have to be brought up to date, and his wife, ME, should be the beneficiary. No way, he is not leaving her out in the cold. The best I got was joint beneficiaries. Changing her from his emergency notifications was more difficult. Again, joint. Now, I'm nosy and want to know where the money is going. He pays for her car payment, her insurance, her rent. He paid for her to get a Master's.

Now there is more. He has a key to her apartment and it's his responsibility to make sure she is OK, he looks in on her and if it so happens that they fall into bed, well who can blame them. One meeting, at a restaurant with her. That girls is still 'married' to him. Emotionally, financially, everything. She sees me as an intruder. I have to have a real heart to heart talk with Sam about her. Either he is married to me or he is still married to her. Again, joint everything is his solution.

Now, to continue with my rant. She decides that because I have a professional job and she has a job working retail, she should be able to quit and be the at home wife. Which is what she always wanted. Now that there are two salaries. Incredibly Sam thinks this IS the solution.

Well, guess what? Who do you think is pregnant? No, not her, me. I go from having some leverage to very little leverage and she is all about how she will be the favorite auntie and she can take care of the baby while I go to work. She moved in with the new baby in September 2019. Three adults, a new born, all stuck in one two bedroom one bathroom small house is enough to drive anyone crazy. He fixes up the garage for an office for him, because there is no reason that we (she and I) can't get along. After my maternity leave I decide to ditch my job, if she can be an at home wife, so can I. I don't need to work to support her.

We have somehow survived for these last four and half years. We are the homemakers and he works to support us. We are joint everything, even joint mothers. After all this time I have no desire to go back to work. I like being a stay at home wife, it suits me. It was a lot easier than I imagined to adapt to living with her. We have upgraded to a three bedroom, but had to sacrifice the neighborhood. She is a natural with the children, and a natural at being a stay at home wife. Unlike me she never gave up a profession. But if we are to be two peas in a pod, so be it. She has her interests and I have mine, it just happens that we have the same interests.

I didn't mean to get carried away here, but the truth of the matter is, is that living in a joint interest household turns out to be what we both needed. I think if you are interested in cohabitating you need to make sure you pick the right husband. The wives adapt easily, far more easily than I would have ever thought. But the husband has to be willing.