Pay Attention Next Time

Years ago, in the UK, I got into my rubber bondage-bag, which was horrendously expensive and capable of being padlocked closed, after mailing the keys to myself, first. When my wife got home from work, I proudly told her what I had done, and boasted of my ability to stay like that until the mail delivery, in two days, maybe less.. silence, then "Seriously? Oh you brainless bastard, don't you know the Royal Mail has just declared a National Strike. as of today...God only knows when there will be a delivery! And I'm not cutting you out of that monstrosity that took all that money we don't HAVE! So, settle down, and I'll make sure you survive, as long as it takes, although you'll be on a high-protein minimal-waste diet, via that zippered opening at your mouth, otherwise it's gonna get real messy in there! You could do with losing weight, anyway!~"

Luckily, it was settled in the second week, and I survived, leaner, but not meaner, very grateful for her amused attention to my 'needs' as best as possible, and a LOT wiser...