Regretful Sex With A Married Man, Giving Him My Virginity

When I talk about this I'm supposed to tell people that it may trigger them. So I am telling you, you may be triggered.

I was a college freshman then, I was walking back to my dorm after visiting a girl in another dorm. It was already dark, but the campus was lit pretty good, except for shadows around trees and building corners. I felt, I did not see, that I was being followed. As I walked I became more and more concerned, paranoid. I hurried but the feeling didn't go away. I got to my dorm, went in the door and up the stairwell. I felt the reach, and then the fall. He slipped or tripped, and fell and hit his head. He never touched me.

I went into therapy, r**e survivor therapy. After too many sessions I joined a group of five other girls who had r**e experiences. Only one of them was what I think of as being r**ed, the other's had bad experiences, didn't like the guy or just had second thoughts. So, of the six girls in the session only one was really r**ed. She had made peace with it, let it lie in the past she said, move on, don't get hung up on what did happen, think about what you want to happen. And, we aren't supposed to say that as a woman you are built for it, so the act itself doesn't hurt you, just your feelings. Unless he beats you up. So, to me and the other girls, physically nothing happened to any of us.

Unless of course you are living to relive it, that happens too.

Even after college I couldn't shake the feelings of being followed in the dark. Hallways, stairwells, parking lots, movie theatres all gave me anxiety and I avoided those dark enclosed places. No one followed me, no one touched me, no one came up behind me. The most that happened is that my debit card got hacked.

I went to a professional conference and sat at large table and the man beside me talked to me. He was nice, and he was polite. The conversation flowed all through lunch. I excused myself and said I was going back to my room to brush my teeth (and use the bathroom). He said, good idea, and we went up the elevator. He asked me what room I was in, and I told him. After I was in my room I felt like a fool, I had told a strange man my room.

He came over to sit beside me for the afternoon sessions, showed me pictures of his wife and two daughters. He asked me to join him for dinner, he didn't like to eat alone. We ate in the hotel dining room. After a while after I was in my room he knocked on the door. Again, what a fool I am, I opened the door without asking who was there. I was in my nightclothes already, and he walked in. He said the room looked just like the one he had. He opened the minifridge and offered me a drink. I kept covering my chest, scared he was going to see my nipples through the thin material.

The kiss was masculine, strong, his hands very strong when he held me. The kiss alone aroused me, he could feel it or smell it. He kept kissing me, and his hand on my chest, taking my breast in his hand. When I fell back on the bed, looking at him as he reached under my gown to pull of my panties, and then opened my legs by pushing my knees apart. His breath on me, his tongue licking and poking my vagina, and my clitoris. Then he got serious about eating me out, I trembled, I knew I was having an orgasm and tried to shut it down. But I went the other way. He pushed back and told me I had a very good looking pussy, and it was going to be his pleasure to fuck it.

His penetration was sure and strong and his hands holding me by my shoulders, he pressed his advantage, stroke after stroke after stroke, I lost sight as my eyes watered, he held my head now and he said he was cumming. He lay completely on me for a minute, before withdrawing. He told me I was one fine piece of ass, I was really worth fucking. He didn't leave that night, he stayed with me and had sex with me again before morning. He left for his room in the morning and told me to meet him in the breakfast in half an hour and we would go to the first session together.

I showered and thought about not washing myself out, but I did. I cleaned myself out as best I could and got dressed. I wore my favorite blouse and shoes, not sneakers. I combed my hair and went down to look for him, he was saving me a place and I sat down. He told me I looked very nice in the morning and he liked how my boobs filled out my blouse. All day, he walked me around with his arm around my shoulders, or walked me by holding the small of my elbow.

We had sex before dinner while the other people had drinks.

But he was married.