My Maternal Instinct Is In Overdrive, I Want A Baby More Than Anything

I'm the product of a young secretary and an older executive. My mother to this day holds my father up on a pedestal. So responsible. Yes, financially, but he was never my 'father'.

I have a problem in being attracted to older men. From my earliest memories being in the arms of a man made me feel good. I never dated anywhere close to my age, not in high school or college. Now that I'm on my own, making a decent salary I've fallen into a relationship with a married executive.

In his arms I'll do anything, agree to anything. My day is driven to be around him, a little tap on the shoulder, his hand on the small of my back, a smile, and I'm like a new puppy. More serious, sex in his arms I dream about getting pregnant. If my mom could do it, I can too. It's my secret feelings, I only talk with my mom about it. Lately she tells me that my body is talking to me, having a baby is the best thing that happened to her. My feelings and my brain are at war, my feelings are winning.