Learning About Sex

I had sex for the first time one summer. It was with an older boy from church camp. I had a crush on him and we had kissed and stuff, sneaking away at night. The last night of camp during the summer pageant, we snuck away to the boat house. He laid me down on some life jackets and we were making out pretty heavy. He unbuttoned my shorts and was rubbing me. He told me that he loved me and I just let him pull my shorts and panties down. I remember laying there with my shorts and panties around one ankle looking down at him while he put a condom on. I was thinking “this was it, I am going to have sex” He then just pushed it in and laid on top of me. It hurt a little but what bothered me was all his weight on me. I could barely breathe because he was crushing me. He started humping me faster and faster. It really didn’t feel that good and suddenly he tensed up and it was over. He told me it was amazing. When he pulled out I remember thinking “it that it?” He pulled the condom off and threw it in the corner. He said we needed to hurry back before we were missed. I was a little sore putting my shorts and panties back on but overall I can honestly say that I didn’t enjoy it. I thought sex was supposed to be amazing but I was so disappointed. We went back and he kissed me before going in. I didn’t get to see him anymore that night and I actually cried myself to sleep regretting what happened. The next day he wouldn’t even look at me let alone talk to me. He left early with his family and I never heard from him again.

I went home and went back to school and told nobody about it. I figured sex wasn’t what I expected and didn’t think I liked it. I even wondered if I was a lesbian, after all I didn’t like sex with a boy and I thought a few girls at school were hot when we showered in the locker room. That all changed over Christmas break that year when my uncle moved to our town. I learned that sex with a man was amazing and that I wasn’t gay but I was Bi.