I Managed To Avoid The Gay Scene In The Army, But After That...

After I got out of the army I went to live with my parents. I didn't have any job skills, unless marching and following orders was something someone wanted to pay me. I lived in the basement and spent my time with porn and jacking off. I went around several gay sights, and got in the chat room and met a man who told me he lived around my town. I answered quickly without thinking, funny how we both lived nearby.

We met at the food court in the mall. He was an older man in his late forties, said he worked for the customer service department of the electric utility. He asked me if I wanted to go see where he lived. He lived in a small efficiency in three story building. He wanted me to come close to him and all those videos I had seen started to come to life. He put his hand in my pants and kissed me and asked me if it was my first time. I told him everything, from the time I was fifteen and one of my friends had sucked my cock. We had sex on his bed, undressed until we were totally naked, we performed mutual jackoffs, and blowjobs. I gave into him when he wanted to get on me and laid face down on the bed. That was my first time.

He told me that they were always hiring at the electric company, and helped me with my resume, focusing on being a vet. I got a job working as a go to boy in the marshaling yard for equipment. I was his boyfriend, toyboy really and he showed me around. You can't be a toyboy if you're not for show. He had a large community of gays of every stripe. Some were like him, reserved. Others were open and liked to fly the flag. As his toyboy I did what he said, and he had me all to himself.

My outlet in my basement continued to be gay porn, it was almost the only thing that turned me on. I went to chat sites and had long conversations with other gays many who were like me and still stuck at home. I started sharing pictures with a couple of guys and I met one of them for a mutual blowjob in the bathroom of this pretty run down gas station where he worked. It was obvious to me that his 'boss' knew what we were doing in the bathroom, but he didn't interfere.

By the time I was making enough to pay rent, I moved in with my bathroom boyfriend. I wasn't the toyboy anymore, another 'boy' was being shown around. I had accepted my place in the ying and yang, some guys are the ones on top and some guys are the ones on the bottom. I was definitely the one face down on the mattress. A place I have never surrendered.