My Anal Rape Fixation

In college I watched the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo with my roommate. It was psychological. The scene of the anal r**e stuck with me and when the situation presented itself several years later I submitted to s***my. Much like the male character the man went off on me, and it was as close to outright r**e as you can get.

I spent the next several years very hesitant to engage in anal sex. My boyfriend never asked for it, but I wanted it. A r**e. My boyfriend suggested a therapist, for sure he wasn't going to participate.

I went on an out of town wedding south of the border. I pushed myself on a man, a friend of the groom. I offered myself and he took the bait. Like my own earlier experience and the scene in the movie he went from forceful to outright 'fucking', damn the torp**oes he pretty much r**ed me. I cleaned myself and he held me by the hair to clean him with my mouth. Spitting and crying he tossed me to the floor and left me.

I'm now 33 and I dream of another encounter. It's my only satisfactory form of masturbation. A therapist here in Atlanta told me I like it rough and daring. It will result in a very bad experience but that's what I'm looking for. I have a 'fixation'. Maybe, it's been a two time thing, and multiple viewings of the scene in the movie. I know the therapist is not holding back on me. She somehow knows what I need to satisfy my fixation.