Im Straight And Hookup With Women But Love A BBC But Its Complicated.

Im very straight acting and hookup with women. My friends all think I'm straight and only like women. However, secretly I go on the gay apps and post myself as a bottom looking for big dicks. I'm particularly drawn to BBCs too. Something so great about having a 8+ inch dick inside of you, especially when I'm able to use poppers too. But id be mortified if anyone found out. The one problem: I hate that I do gay things after I cum. There are some times when I get super horny and the easiest sex for me to have is with men but I only bottom, not like i have a small dick im 8 inches when hard and the sex i have with women is good. The one thing is  I feel super disgusted with myself after gay sex. would love comments and advice and also have a hot story about it below.

Have a story about this too. Freshman year of college I was on grindr and found a guy who didn't send any nudes. So i decided to take the chance. Went over and he had music on and we smoked a bowl. Then proceeded to passionately makeout which isn't something I usually do. Then I put my hands down his pants and he was at least 8 inches long and thick when soft. When I went down on him Took me a bit to get used to the size in my mouth was probably around 10-11 inches hard. Then he flipped me over and had us in a 69 where he rimmed my ass. also something new at the time and it felt surprisingly good. I was really enjoying the way he was licking my hole. I got a decent amount of him in my mouth and into my throat but not without gagging a few times. Then he said " I want your ass and picked me up flipped me around so i was on my back with my legs above his head. We then passionately made out and he got the poppers ready. he sniffed first and then when i did which was another first all I wanted was for him to be deep inside of me. He lubed himself up and slowly entered my waiting hole. it felt so good going in and slowly he worked his way all the way in which felt incredible so I had him stay there for a few seconds so I could get used to the feeling and enjoy the high from the poppers. then he kissed me with a lot of tongue but it felt very good just as he was working his dick in and out of my ass. all i could do was grab hold of him and kiss and hard as he was as the pleasure and pain was soo much but all in a good way. staying in this position for a while and then the pain returned and became alot as he was really fucking me with my ass being sore already. So i had him lay down and got on top as I inhaled more poppers. Sitting down on his 11 inch dick is a feeling ill never forget. I got all the way down on it and rocked my hips back and fourth. while doing so i was feeling up his washboard abs and then he suddenly pulled me in and made out with me while moving in and out. It was incredible. We ended up fucking for 40 minutes to an hour and he never even came. we finished in with me laying on my back on the edge of the bed and him fucking my ass hard. I didn't even have to use my hands. It was amazing. But once I came my dick was so sensitive and i felt disgusted as i always do. So i offered to just jerk him off and blow him iff necessary to cum but he said its ok so I just cleaned up and left.

Ended up seeing this guy alot from freshman year all the way until the start of junior year, probably over 20-30 times. only issue was that he got annoyed that I would only come over when i texted for sex and never when he wanted. I always told him im DL since we went to the same university and he never said anything. I think he may have wanted to date since looking back. He also said I was one of the only few that could take him all the way.

Have alot more stories I can write too if there is interest.