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Anything Goes
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Straight Female / 26
I Grew Up With A Father But Not A Daddy, Now I Have A Daddy
One more confession about Daddy issues. My father was a police officer (he is deceased now), a ranking officer. He had been a Marine until he retired after 21 years. He met my mother through friends. My mother is the quiet type, and very obedient. I have two sisters, also very obedient. I wasn't so obedient and I got in trouble a lot. My mother cried when I misbehaved, she knew my father was going to go hard on me, I got whipped way into my teens, bent over the dining room table, with his belt and my pants down. I never cried, took my whipping and went to my room to cry.
I was accepted at a college about sixty miles from home. But my father refused to pay for room and board, if I wanted to go then I had to pay for it myself, or go to the local two year college in our home town. I went to the two year college because of money. I didn't date because my father prohibited me going out. I wanted to go to the four year college so bad that I got some student aid through the college and a part time job. I took me four years to get two years of college. I was so grown up when I left college, a legend in my own mind. I was virgin, the thought of my father finding out that I wasn't scared me so bad.
My father died of a heart attack, just died at his desk. The whole house lit up. I dated a guy from work but he was a wimp. I dated this other guy I met through a friend. A wimp. Every guy I met was a wimp. Then out of nowhere I got in trouble with my boss. He raised his voice at me, something to the effect that how was he to respect me it I behaved like that. "As far as you are concerned, you obey me". I got the lecture from him about learning to be obedient. I literally peed in my pants. I couldn't get out of the chair in his office, the chair was wet and my pants were soaking. I had emptied my bladder while I was getting bawled out.
The embarrassment of him sending his secretary to the mall to buy me pants and underwear, the embarrassment of him loaning me his coat to cover me to get to the bathroom and change. The embarrassment of him looking me at me like a lost duck, patting my cheek and calling me a little girl wetting her pants because I had been bawled her out.
I never got over him. I crawl into his arms every chance I get. I lift my face for him to kiss me. I sit in his lap in his chair when he watches TV. I serve him his coffee. He may not have wanted a baby girl to take care of, well I am his baby girl. My father never hugged me, he was always too much of a man to show affection. Well now I get affection and the love that goes with it. He isn't my father, he is my Daddy.
I was accepted at a college about sixty miles from home. But my father refused to pay for room and board, if I wanted to go then I had to pay for it myself, or go to the local two year college in our home town. I went to the two year college because of money. I didn't date because my father prohibited me going out. I wanted to go to the four year college so bad that I got some student aid through the college and a part time job. I took me four years to get two years of college. I was so grown up when I left college, a legend in my own mind. I was virgin, the thought of my father finding out that I wasn't scared me so bad.
My father died of a heart attack, just died at his desk. The whole house lit up. I dated a guy from work but he was a wimp. I dated this other guy I met through a friend. A wimp. Every guy I met was a wimp. Then out of nowhere I got in trouble with my boss. He raised his voice at me, something to the effect that how was he to respect me it I behaved like that. "As far as you are concerned, you obey me". I got the lecture from him about learning to be obedient. I literally peed in my pants. I couldn't get out of the chair in his office, the chair was wet and my pants were soaking. I had emptied my bladder while I was getting bawled out.
The embarrassment of him sending his secretary to the mall to buy me pants and underwear, the embarrassment of him loaning me his coat to cover me to get to the bathroom and change. The embarrassment of him looking me at me like a lost duck, patting my cheek and calling me a little girl wetting her pants because I had been bawled her out.
I never got over him. I crawl into his arms every chance I get. I lift my face for him to kiss me. I sit in his lap in his chair when he watches TV. I serve him his coffee. He may not have wanted a baby girl to take care of, well I am his baby girl. My father never hugged me, he was always too much of a man to show affection. Well now I get affection and the love that goes with it. He isn't my father, he is my Daddy.
