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Anything Goes
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Lesbian Female / 32
Starved For A Man's Authority Over Me I Want Him To Own Me
A practicing lesbian I found myself with a man between my legs thrusting himself in me. I came to the realization that if he ejaculated I ran a high risk of becoming pregnant. At that point I 'awoke' and grasped at tossing him off, he responded by doubling down on his grip and forced entry. As a last gasp I begged. In a moment of intellectual connection, he dismissed me 'so you get pregnant'.
Something broke within me, he was all of a sudden a man with complete powers over me. I won't say I submitted, but I was resigned to my fate. I lay under him, as he recovered his energy, thinking of the billions of women who had been in my position. This is how women get pregnant.
Two weeks later I went on a kayak outing with friends, not getting his permission. I was confronted immediately, I walked away in full understanding, I now had an owner, and he doesn't tolerate disobedience. Was it my hormones as I was conceiving? Or his forced entry? Or both? It didn't matter, I was owned. I felt it internally.
It's been a year now, I have a daughter. Hormones gone wild, I can't imagine a choice other than having become pregnant. Adopting the role of mother and homemaker he had given me the option, stay home with my baby, or find a sitter. He made it clear, his preference was stay home. I was relieved, I gladly obeyed him.
What's happened is a rewiring, or the discovery of wiring, from a steady focus on singular living, to embracing motherhood with a man I want to be owned by, the one thing I asked was for him to marry me. Make me his wife, legally. I'm married.
Statistics say I will revert to being lesbian, before that I will again become pregnant. I want my daughter to grow up among siblings. For that, my role in life is to be both a mother and wife. If I do revert to being lesbian I will rely on my husband's decision. I sleep well, I know for certain, my husband will not give me permission.
Something broke within me, he was all of a sudden a man with complete powers over me. I won't say I submitted, but I was resigned to my fate. I lay under him, as he recovered his energy, thinking of the billions of women who had been in my position. This is how women get pregnant.
Two weeks later I went on a kayak outing with friends, not getting his permission. I was confronted immediately, I walked away in full understanding, I now had an owner, and he doesn't tolerate disobedience. Was it my hormones as I was conceiving? Or his forced entry? Or both? It didn't matter, I was owned. I felt it internally.
It's been a year now, I have a daughter. Hormones gone wild, I can't imagine a choice other than having become pregnant. Adopting the role of mother and homemaker he had given me the option, stay home with my baby, or find a sitter. He made it clear, his preference was stay home. I was relieved, I gladly obeyed him.
What's happened is a rewiring, or the discovery of wiring, from a steady focus on singular living, to embracing motherhood with a man I want to be owned by, the one thing I asked was for him to marry me. Make me his wife, legally. I'm married.
Statistics say I will revert to being lesbian, before that I will again become pregnant. I want my daughter to grow up among siblings. For that, my role in life is to be both a mother and wife. If I do revert to being lesbian I will rely on my husband's decision. I sleep well, I know for certain, my husband will not give me permission.
