Midnight Wishes

I wish I had a boyfriend to fuck me.
I NEVER had one,I never had sex with a man before, I push man away, I don't know how to act when men are around me and I tend to be a cold bitch,I hate myself for being this way but I don't wanna look vulnerable.
I wish I was flirty and loveable.
I touch myself everynight before going to bed but it is not enough,I need a man's touch.
None of the men I dated knew that I was actually a virgin, when a guy at my last date tried to kiss me I freaked out and never answer to his calls again.
I wish I wouldn't act like this, I wish I would know to talk to men.
Men are so different from women, I don't get them at all.