Unfulfilled Desires

My husband died 12 years ago and i have eversince been single. I didn’t have kids and i really had a lonely life. For the past one year i have started dating a guy who is younger than me. To be honest i don’t get what he sees in me as he is so handsome young and should be dating a college girl. But he is so caring and never makes me feel i am old and unattractive. I have gone above and beyond with him but i have told him the marriage is not going to happen. He has still stayed back and even moved in with me. He developed a certain weird sadness about his dick size not been long like 11 inches but i had already told him plenty times it’s all lies what they show on those videos as even a 6 inch is bog enough for me. I try to perform some embarrassing sexual acts to him to make him feel good but i am not able to get pregnant. I think i will never be. I have told him to leave me since i won’t be able to give him a child but honestly i don’t want him to leave. I like being a whore for him in bed, degrading my ugly body but i don’t know should i let him go