Can’t Have Just One

i just ended a two year long relationship. the reason for it? well, one, he was a dick, and two, i met somebody else. actually, i met five somebody else’s. a month before i broke up with him, i made out with a guy at a frat party. honestly, the only reason i did it was because nobody could stop me. i wasn’t proud of it, but it gave me a rush that i couldn’t ignore. that’s why in the month before i broke up with my boyfriend, i made out with and or hooked up with five different men.

i never thought i would be a cheater, and i should feel awful about what i did. but i just can’t. in the moment i felt so much guilt, but as the weeks have passed, i realized that i did it all to feel loved. my boyfriend didn’t treat me the way i deserved to be treated. when you have been disrespected time and time again by somebody who is supposed to love you, it’s hard to feel anything when you hurt them.

now that i’m single, those same five men are now searching for something long term with me. i didn’t anticipate that i would have this issue. i thought that we were all on the same page that these were one time things. i guess this is karma biting me in the ass.

all i wanted was a few fuck buddies