A Gay Man Still In The Closet

I am gay but not out. I work for an insurance company in the actuarial division. I have sexual urges, and sometimes I have to have them satisfied. I never show or act gay around coworkers. My excuse is that I have not met anyone that wants to put up with me.

I have a couple of tall stories, about sex in wild places. One was in college, a friend asked me to go with him to a concert. We were in the mosh pit and a guy behind me was rubbing himself of me. I could feel him as he rubbed hard up my butt crack. It was too much to take so I lowered my pants, shorts, down enough for him to get access, and while the music played he kept rhythm while he fucked me. It was one of those things that can't happen if you plan it. I went home with quite the wet bottom.

One other occasion I will share with you. The insurance company I worked for was downtown. Now our jobs are all remote. I was pretty new, still getting my bearings around downtown. A man, an older man in his fifties, asked me if I needed a beer, it was so hot outside. Not knowing better I went with him, down a couple of blocks and then up another one to a nondescript door in the back of a building. He knocked, yes there was a code, and we went in. It was dark considering we had just come in from the glaring sun. He grabbed my ass, I mean a handful of ass, and asked me what kind of beer I wanted. He kept me against a wall, his big arm keeping me from wandering off. Here and there, a kiss on the lips, a grab at the crotch. He told me he was going to fuck me and we left.

Like a puppy dog I followed him to another building, he used the code to get in, and we went up an elevator to another floor. I followed him down the hall to his apartment. Once inside he sat on the bed and grabbed me by the hips and letting my pants fall to the ground he sucked my dick until I was painfully hard. He had me step out of my pants, take off my shoes and he undressed and held his dick in his hand. He offered me his dick so I got down and sucked him. He was hard when he had me lay over the bed with my knees on the floor and he got behind me and he did what he promised to do, he fucked me.

He is the first man I performed analingus on, in the shower as he leaned against the wall. I loved the way he kissed me, the way he held me down. I loved the way he fucked me and I loved to suck his dick. I was a little shit and he was a great big man. Later I learned that he was a heavy in the company, in charge of customer relations. It took a very long time for me to get over him. No man has kissed me like that or fucked me like that. It is just that I grew to old for him, he tends to like younger guys.

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