Fully In The Closet, Gay, Queer, A Faggot.

The old man at the end of the street asked me for help with some yardwork. I was in full bloom as a high school senior, football and student council. I agreed and showed up on Saturday after practice. I did a lot of the heavy lifting, as he was completely redoing his flowerbed. I was all sweaty in my gym shorts and school T-shirt and he offered some cold water. We went inside and with the glass of water he grabbed my crotch.

I jumped back, what the hell! He pressed against me with my back to the counter and he slapped a kiss on me, this time running his hand down inside my shorts. He kept kissing me, and grabbing at my dick. I started to get hard and he continued kissing me on the mouth. With a quick movement he pulled my shorts down and grabbed my now hard dick in his hand bending down to suck me.

For an old man he was very strong. His hands in particular. He led me by my dick to a chair in the kitchen, duckwalking with my shorts around my ankles, and he sat down to suck me, He sucked me and grabbed my balls to milk me and I came in his mouth which he licked up and swallowed.

Now it was his turn, and he had me step out of my shorts and bend over the table and he fucked me. No slick willy, just a raw ass fuck. He came violently as I remember. I looked down at my dick, just hanging there flipping up and down as he fucked me. I was gay but didn't know it. I lay back on his bed as he kissed me and I held his dick in my hand and turned around to align up with his dick and sucked him. I was a fucking faggot, a queer, a cock sucker.

The old man fucked me many times after that, he sucked my dick and I sucked his dick, and he kissed me thoroughly, made out with me and I loved it. I had to keep it a secret, from my dad and mom, from my sister, from my high school girlfriend. Fucking my girlfriend when it came to that wasn't what I had ever dreamed of. I wanted her to suck my dick, and finger my ass. She didn't, called me sick and dumped me.

I went to a small Christian college in Arkansas on a scholarship. It took a long time for me to feel out which of my teammates wanted to have their dick sucked and which one wanted to fuck me. He was also gay, a faggot, a queer under cover. We didn't make out, it was strictly suck and fuck and it was over. I missed the kissing, I wanted the kissing.

One day I was at the library boning up on a course I was flunking. A man, an adjunct art professor, was roaming the halls looking for love. He followed me into the bathroom, and while I was taking a piss he reached over and grabbed me. He told me my football buddy had told him I was a cock sucker. I sucked his cock in the stall, sucked him till he came and licked his dick clean. He was a full time gay and he kissed me and I fell in love with him. I couldn't break it, I was his and he knew it. As long as he kissed me I didn't care, I wanted to be kissed, and felt up and fucked and suck his dick and have him suck my dick. And make the bed afterwards, and help him in the kitchen. I wore purple panties for him, and shaved my pubes for him. I wore lipstick for him. And eventually I wore a dress for him and went to a gay club.

I graduated a full ass gay, queer, faggot. I lived a double life, I graduated with a degree in Physical Education and got my teaching certificate and went to coach at a small private school which was a feeder to the college. I met Greg there, a full time coach and active top who took an interest in me. For the years I coached there I was Greg's full time lover. Always, in the closet. Always careful with friends and family. Always unmarried and feigned interest in girls.

Well I turned sixty. I have an on again off again relationship with a retired dentist. We travel together, to far off places, where we are no one's friend or neighbor. That's where we act out our deepest desires, that's where he becomes a wolf in sheep's clothing, that's where I wear my pink and purple panties. That's where I suck his dick, and he fucks me. That's where we kiss the night away, our hands grabbing our throbbing dicks.

I think of that old man on the corner. Now I'm that old man, scoping out the young men on the football team.