A Frightful Incident Changed My Life Path Forever

As a college senior in 1984 I asked a male friend to help me borrow my brother's car, to give me a ride to his apartment. My brother's car was a 240Z, silver, ten years old. A stick shift. My friend offered to drive it but I insisted I could drive it. He followed me. Sure enough, at a stop sign I pulled out and the car died halfway out in the intersection, this pickup managed to swerve enough to avoid hitting me broadside, but still clipped the front end and I was thrown around and ended up on one side on the driver's side. My friend crawled up on the other side and got the door open, scared the car would explode he 'dragged' me out, tearing my dress when he did. In those days the car didn't have seat belts.

I found myself in his embrace, trembling uncontrollably, while he comforted me. It was the very first time a 'boy' embraced me, and I didn't want him to release me. I never recovered, permanently scared from the experience. I won't call it 'love', it was something different. At the right moment after we were back at my apartment I gave into him completely. By the time I woke up the next morning, aching from the accident, my goose was cooked, I was permanently attached to him.

When he takes me in his embrace, even after all these years, my brain disconnects and my body can't be pleased until he completely takes me. It's truly not conscious, it's something animalistic, I grip him to me.