Lesbian Female / 35
I Want To Believe I'm Getting Older Not Changing Who I Am
I never thought I would be attracted to a man. After being an out lesbian for ten years it caught me by surprise. I tell myself it's an intellectual thing. But it quickly turned into physical and intimate. Waking up beside a man was emotional.
This affair resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. I was 33. The idea of caring for an infant was frightening. But I persevered, it was my turn, so put up and shut up. My relationship with my child's father was coming to an end. I agreed to mutual custody, child support. But I wasn't divorced. I was a single an unmarried. How did I fit in?
He wasn't out of my life. Every decision went through him. Every day was planned with him. I have an overhang of feelings. Sometimes I reach up to him for a kiss when I see him. I don't want to admit he's taken hold of me. I can't separate myself from him . Our child is an excuse.
This affair resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. I was 33. The idea of caring for an infant was frightening. But I persevered, it was my turn, so put up and shut up. My relationship with my child's father was coming to an end. I agreed to mutual custody, child support. But I wasn't divorced. I was a single an unmarried. How did I fit in?
He wasn't out of my life. Every decision went through him. Every day was planned with him. I have an overhang of feelings. Sometimes I reach up to him for a kiss when I see him. I don't want to admit he's taken hold of me. I can't separate myself from him . Our child is an excuse.
