Fitting In Ruined My Life

The one time I tried to fit in ended in disaster. I was always very shy and backward. I failed miserably at college and dropped out after two years. My parents were furious.
I got a job waiting tables at an Applebee's. I sucked at that as well because I couldn't be outgoing. The main bartender, Amy, was a beautiful and popular girl maybe a couple years older than me. I knew she had a boyfriend, he was in the restaurant often. He was black. Amy is white.
One evening she nearly made me faint be really talking to me about stuff other than work. I was so excited when she asked me to come over to her house after closing. Amy said her boyfriend had a cute friend who would be into me.
When i got there I was quite overwhelmed. Besides Amy's boyfriend there were three other black guys there. The music was loud, everyone was drinking and smoking marijuana. I had a drink but passed on the marijuana. As I watched and listened I got an even bigger shock. All four of the men lived there with Amy. And from the way they were talking to her, and touching her, it was obvious all the guys had access to her, sexual access.
I was sandwiched on the couch between two of the guys as Amy sat on her boyfriends lap in a recliner. At one point Amy went to the kitchen. A minute later her boyfriend followed. They didn't come back for like 10 minutes and the guys were starting to get touchy feely. I got up and walked into the kitchen. I froze in the doorway. Amy was naked, on her knees sucking her boyfriends cock. When she noticed me she briefly stopped, giggled and told me to get another drink. She acted like it was nothing and went back to sucking him. I turned and had intentions of heading to the door. I nearly knocked down one of the guys. He grabbed me around the waist to keep me from falling. Quickly his hands found their way to my ass. I tried to push him away then I heard Amy's voice yelling at me to "relax". I calmed down and the guy led me back to the couch. Amy and her boyfriend were right behind us. Her boyfriend stripped down and sat back in the recliner. Amy got down between his legs and started sucking him again. At that point the guys were all over me. Being pulled in all directions as my clothes were removed. I wasn't very sexually experienced and definitely not ready for this. My legs were pulled apart as one of the guys got in place and started guiding his cock inside me. I panicked as I saw he wasn't wearing a condom. When I asked him to put one on it sounded like everyone in the room broke out laughing. I just kind of laid there as the guys took turns on me. The biggest surprise was when I looked up and Amy's boyfriend was kneeling between my legs. I looked around the room and realized Amy wasn't there. All four guys were concentrating on me. I didn't see her again the rest of the night. The four guys fucked me on the couch and floor in every position you can imagine. When they were finally done I was a mess. Cum in my hair, all over my body and unfortunately several times they didn't pull out. I wasn't on birth control.
They let me gather my clothes and use the bathroom before I left.
The next day Amy actually had the nerve to ask me if I had fun. Even told me the guys enjoyed themselves and wanted me to come back. I not only declined I quit my job. As a bonus humiliation my period didn't come a few weeks later. I was very pregnant and ashamed to admit to anyone it could be any one of the four guys.
I now have an 8 yr old son, a black son. I love him dearly but my family didn't understand. Pretty much disowned me. I am now living on government assistance and never recovered from that night of trying to fit in.