Having An Affair

My boyfriend doesn’t know I’m having an affair with a hot guy from work. It’s been going for over six months now. At least once a week, I tell him I’m working late or going to the gym or meeting a friend when really I’m at this guy’s place with my legs in the air.

I should call it off, and believe me I’ve tried, but it’s kind of addictive. The sex is crazy good and the sneaking around is such a thrill. In my “real” life, I’m a good girl but with him I get to act like a total whore and do all the things I’ve always fantasised about doing in bed.

In between all the guilt, I’m honestly having the time of my life. I’ve never been so sexually satisfied, and I do believe it’s made me a better girlfriend. I’m happier, more confident and more attentive now I’m getting all of my needs met.

I don’t want to sound like I’m advocating cheating or legitimise my behaviour. Obviously it’s wrong. It’s a betrayal of my boyfriend’s trust and he doesn’t deserve it as he’s a wonderful partner in many ways, but I can’t deny I find him boring and unadventurous in bed.

Now it’s sort of like I have the best of both worlds; comfort and security with a loving boyfriend, and earth-shattering orgasms with a sexy bad boy. Several female friends in long term relationships have admitted to me that they’d secretly love to compartmentalise love and sex in this way. Familiarity kills desire if you’re not careful.

I’m clearly not in a place where I feel I can end things with either man, so I figure the best I can do is be really careful, cover my tracks and make sure no-one ever finds out. But the longer it goes on, the greater the risk is that I really someone I love. I hope I find the strength to do the right thing soon.

PS: I’ve not told anyone about this, so it’s quite cathartic to write it all out. Very happy to answer questions and share more details in the comments.