Secretly Smoking Again

I secretly started smoking again just while I am at work doing my overnight job. I had quit for 8 years but then had the urge and was bored so I started again about 18 months ago. I will smoke at work then about 3 hours before I am off I won’t smoke anymore for the night. I will scrub my face and head with soap and put lotion to mask the smell of smoke. Then I spray my clothes with a smoke spray that hides the odors. So far she has had no clue that I’m smoking again. She would kill me if she found out as medical issues before I started smoking again where I had sepsis and has multiple surgeries on my lungs to drain fluids. I feel guilty about smoking again but I want to and need to do it. On my days off I use nicotine patch that keeps me sane when I can’t smoke.