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Women Only
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Straight Female / 34
There But For The Grace Of God Go I, Or Why Me Lord?
This is a story about life in the hood. As one of four daughters, not the same fathers, we lived in a run down apartment complex. Our mother never got beyond the third grade, pregnant at thirteen, four kids by twenty. She worked cleaning houses.
I was seven when she took me with her to clean this house for party. The house was owned by a Minister and his wife. They had three boys. They offered my mother to adopt me, give me a chance. I was adopted, and they became my parents. I went to the church school, and went to a Bible college.
Meanwhile my sisters grew up in the hood. The goal for girls was an immaculate conception. Get on state aid and have an income. Other girls were gang property, prostitution. The school was ruled by two gangs, one Mexican, one black. Black girls were gang property, never had sex with a Mexican. Many Mexican girls were used by black gang members for shooting practice, r**e. A Mexican with a black baby was trash, never Mexican, not black. One of my sisters has a black father.
A DNA test showed that my father was mixed white and Mexican. On the Mexican scale, white is better, black is at the bottom. My black sister is a prostitute for a Mexican gang. My other two sisters had immaculate conceptions and live on state aid. Both clean houses. I know I was lucky, a woman who dreamed of a 'little' girl, but only had boys. I was raised as the 'little' girl, the 'little' sister. My adoptive parents are over protective. As my sisters grew up, they kept me from them. No amount of praying saved my sisters, they were 'victims' of circumstance.
My mother, birth mother, my sisters, my nieces and nephews are happy, they are a family. Even my black sister whose nickname is 'la negra'. I am not accepted. My looks, my straight teeth, my clothes, my education, my holier than thou attitude. Baptist and Catholics are different. They don't envy me. They don't accept me. I am not their sister.
I became a woman quite by accident. I wasn't old enough, 'legal'. It was at a weekend retreat, the 'boy' was older. I looked up at the sky, thought about Jesus. I didn't have an immaculate conception. I shrugged it off. No Mexican gang member, not a black gang r**e. A white boy, if I did get pregnant, my baby would be white, not Mexican. But I didn't even do that tight. I went to Bible College instead. Married a Bible thumper, son of a builder. We have four white children. These cousins have never met their blood cousins in the hood.
I was seven when she took me with her to clean this house for party. The house was owned by a Minister and his wife. They had three boys. They offered my mother to adopt me, give me a chance. I was adopted, and they became my parents. I went to the church school, and went to a Bible college.
Meanwhile my sisters grew up in the hood. The goal for girls was an immaculate conception. Get on state aid and have an income. Other girls were gang property, prostitution. The school was ruled by two gangs, one Mexican, one black. Black girls were gang property, never had sex with a Mexican. Many Mexican girls were used by black gang members for shooting practice, r**e. A Mexican with a black baby was trash, never Mexican, not black. One of my sisters has a black father.
A DNA test showed that my father was mixed white and Mexican. On the Mexican scale, white is better, black is at the bottom. My black sister is a prostitute for a Mexican gang. My other two sisters had immaculate conceptions and live on state aid. Both clean houses. I know I was lucky, a woman who dreamed of a 'little' girl, but only had boys. I was raised as the 'little' girl, the 'little' sister. My adoptive parents are over protective. As my sisters grew up, they kept me from them. No amount of praying saved my sisters, they were 'victims' of circumstance.
My mother, birth mother, my sisters, my nieces and nephews are happy, they are a family. Even my black sister whose nickname is 'la negra'. I am not accepted. My looks, my straight teeth, my clothes, my education, my holier than thou attitude. Baptist and Catholics are different. They don't envy me. They don't accept me. I am not their sister.
I became a woman quite by accident. I wasn't old enough, 'legal'. It was at a weekend retreat, the 'boy' was older. I looked up at the sky, thought about Jesus. I didn't have an immaculate conception. I shrugged it off. No Mexican gang member, not a black gang r**e. A white boy, if I did get pregnant, my baby would be white, not Mexican. But I didn't even do that tight. I went to Bible College instead. Married a Bible thumper, son of a builder. We have four white children. These cousins have never met their blood cousins in the hood.
