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My Family
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Straight Male / 56
Sometimes, I Wish This Wasn't A Real Story.
I'm 56, I have autism.
It's caused me several behavioural problems, some learning difficulties, ample relationship issues and more.
I do appear totally normal in person. It's high functioning ASD formerly labelled Aspergers. I over explain things, I have trouble getting to the point, but generally I get by just fine.The reason I am explaining this is because, my story is hard to believe to way I write it. My memory for details is almost video quality. Most people assume my story is fantasy, then dismiss it as a made up story. I might have difficulties believing it myself, if it was someone else's. Anonymity online is my only way to be honest. I have only ever shared this with 2 therapists, and 2 other close trusted friends, plus my immediate family (I didn't tell my parents, despite them knowing obviously), in my lifetime. So.. When I was at the appropriate age, puberty began. I remember my very first orgasm in detail. Within two or three days, I had wanked as frequently as I could. It became my new obsession. I was caught by my younger sister, who was curious. I showed her the new trick I had learnt with my dick. I was 12, so with my issues, my younger sister was more mature despite no changes for her yet. Even with my issues, I totally knew it wasn't appropriate to jerk off in front of my sister, but she was keen to watch once she saw me totally hard for the first time. It was way more exciting when someone was watching, but I wasn't brave enough to show anyone who I wasn't comfortable with. I loved my sister, we were quite close. Afterwards, she had many questions, I answered with enthusiasm. From there on, whenever I had the opportunity (it was just us 2 heaps. Single mother and no other siblings), I would repeat the wanking in front of my sister thing. Sometimes it would bore her, but usually she wanted to watch. She was also well aware how taboo it all was, and kept it secret. By the time she started developing, so had my wanking. I was now encouraging her to be naked. I loved looking at her pussy when I came. It then progressed to me cumming on her pussy. Then I began to lick her to make it wet, so I could slide my cock against her slit. Next, the obvious, just the tip and only when I began to cum. I hadn't even had a fuck yet but I was cumming inside her without the sex. Then, I would insert the tip and keep it in her while wanking until I came, Then I pushed boundaries and got almost halfway in when she stopped me complaining it was more than the tip. Unfortunately she was already menstrual and my mother made her take the contraceptive pill. She was also beginning to fuck other boys. I was a secret. Eventually, she allowed me to go all the way and I finally was fucking. It was my blood sister and by then I had also been with other girls. I now had something to compare my sister to. By my 21st, I might have had sex with over 50 girls without exaggeration. Also, by 21 I had stopped fucking my sister by a couple of years. We were still close, but we just stopped. It remained a secret the whole time, I thought it was messed up, but the fact that we were still close and now adults, was proof to me that it probably wasn't that bad for either of us. We talked before, during, after. We communicated very well. There was never anything forced. It was kinky, naughty, experimental, exciting, taboo, secret fun.
My wife (before we wed), was the first person I told until therapy decades later. She was close to My sister and was bridesmaid at our wedding. Clearly it didn't deter my marriage from happening. Eventually, my high sex drive, led me to another woman. The sex was exciting and I was tempted to leave my wife. My sister was furious with me for leaving my wife and told our parents. Her story (I didn't hear) was obviously nothing like I described. She didn't admit to being a willing participant. She twisted the story to make me sound bad. I have no idea exactly what she said. It wasn't anywhere near the full truth. From what I have figured out, her side was, I forced her. Not many times either, just a few. Despite it being hundreds of times a year for several years. I have also lost all the friendships from then aa well. It was a lonely time. I still haven't recovered. My sister won't talk to me about it. My relationship with my parents was very damaged. I have had very little in the way of family relationships since. I don't feel wanted. Not even liked. My sister is about one short text a year, since. My father died no longer liking me. My mother can't accept it. However, she's the one I still talk to several times a year.
I'm trying to repair my relationship with my mother, but it's never going to be good again. I still wank thinking about many of my sexual experiences with my sister. I haven't had sex in 6 years, before my 50th.
It really didn't help that my sister was fairly hot. Many of my mates told me they wanted to or had fucked her. She loved sex, that also didn't help. I'm quite lonely now.
It's caused me several behavioural problems, some learning difficulties, ample relationship issues and more.
I do appear totally normal in person. It's high functioning ASD formerly labelled Aspergers. I over explain things, I have trouble getting to the point, but generally I get by just fine.The reason I am explaining this is because, my story is hard to believe to way I write it. My memory for details is almost video quality. Most people assume my story is fantasy, then dismiss it as a made up story. I might have difficulties believing it myself, if it was someone else's. Anonymity online is my only way to be honest. I have only ever shared this with 2 therapists, and 2 other close trusted friends, plus my immediate family (I didn't tell my parents, despite them knowing obviously), in my lifetime. So.. When I was at the appropriate age, puberty began. I remember my very first orgasm in detail. Within two or three days, I had wanked as frequently as I could. It became my new obsession. I was caught by my younger sister, who was curious. I showed her the new trick I had learnt with my dick. I was 12, so with my issues, my younger sister was more mature despite no changes for her yet. Even with my issues, I totally knew it wasn't appropriate to jerk off in front of my sister, but she was keen to watch once she saw me totally hard for the first time. It was way more exciting when someone was watching, but I wasn't brave enough to show anyone who I wasn't comfortable with. I loved my sister, we were quite close. Afterwards, she had many questions, I answered with enthusiasm. From there on, whenever I had the opportunity (it was just us 2 heaps. Single mother and no other siblings), I would repeat the wanking in front of my sister thing. Sometimes it would bore her, but usually she wanted to watch. She was also well aware how taboo it all was, and kept it secret. By the time she started developing, so had my wanking. I was now encouraging her to be naked. I loved looking at her pussy when I came. It then progressed to me cumming on her pussy. Then I began to lick her to make it wet, so I could slide my cock against her slit. Next, the obvious, just the tip and only when I began to cum. I hadn't even had a fuck yet but I was cumming inside her without the sex. Then, I would insert the tip and keep it in her while wanking until I came, Then I pushed boundaries and got almost halfway in when she stopped me complaining it was more than the tip. Unfortunately she was already menstrual and my mother made her take the contraceptive pill. She was also beginning to fuck other boys. I was a secret. Eventually, she allowed me to go all the way and I finally was fucking. It was my blood sister and by then I had also been with other girls. I now had something to compare my sister to. By my 21st, I might have had sex with over 50 girls without exaggeration. Also, by 21 I had stopped fucking my sister by a couple of years. We were still close, but we just stopped. It remained a secret the whole time, I thought it was messed up, but the fact that we were still close and now adults, was proof to me that it probably wasn't that bad for either of us. We talked before, during, after. We communicated very well. There was never anything forced. It was kinky, naughty, experimental, exciting, taboo, secret fun.
My wife (before we wed), was the first person I told until therapy decades later. She was close to My sister and was bridesmaid at our wedding. Clearly it didn't deter my marriage from happening. Eventually, my high sex drive, led me to another woman. The sex was exciting and I was tempted to leave my wife. My sister was furious with me for leaving my wife and told our parents. Her story (I didn't hear) was obviously nothing like I described. She didn't admit to being a willing participant. She twisted the story to make me sound bad. I have no idea exactly what she said. It wasn't anywhere near the full truth. From what I have figured out, her side was, I forced her. Not many times either, just a few. Despite it being hundreds of times a year for several years. I have also lost all the friendships from then aa well. It was a lonely time. I still haven't recovered. My sister won't talk to me about it. My relationship with my parents was very damaged. I have had very little in the way of family relationships since. I don't feel wanted. Not even liked. My sister is about one short text a year, since. My father died no longer liking me. My mother can't accept it. However, she's the one I still talk to several times a year.
I'm trying to repair my relationship with my mother, but it's never going to be good again. I still wank thinking about many of my sexual experiences with my sister. I haven't had sex in 6 years, before my 50th.
It really didn't help that my sister was fairly hot. Many of my mates told me they wanted to or had fucked her. She loved sex, that also didn't help. I'm quite lonely now.
- That's Juicy! 23
- Remove It! 4
