Stepson

I posted here a while back about the affair I've been having with my 18 year old stepson. The intimate moments between us (we haven't had sex, just grinding on each other) happen sporadically. For the most part we don't speak to each other or look at each other. We go weeks without interacting. Yesterday, after a drought (I was truly beginning to believe it was done between us) it happened. I was cleaning and I noticed he kept propping himself up on the couch. The couch is a sectional and I walk past him through the walkway to get to the staircase. He kept stretching his arms out and such and I could tell he was trying to find the right moment to reach out and touch me. From time to time when he's getting horny and frustrated, he goes into the garage and punches on his punching bag. He did that yesterday.

I know how hard it is for him to come to me so I did it for him. I started rubbing him. He held onto me and began rubbing my back. I slowly kissed his neck and his cheeks and his plump juicy lips. He has the best lips I've ever kissed. The way we kiss feels like it's supposed to happen. He put his hand under my shirt and began massaging my back. Our kisses were so sensual and warm. I didn't want to stop. He stared into my eyes the whole time, watching every move I made. I wanted to use my other hand but I couldn't because it was kind of dirty since I was cleaning. I started sucking on his finger and he looked truly amazed. I stared at him while I sucked his finger and wished it was his hard thick dick. We had to stop because I had to do laundry with his dad. (His father knows about this btw)

I didn't think it would happen again. I thought he forgot about it. I caught him a few times taking videos and pictures of me on his phone. These moments happen and then next thing you know, I'm open to him and he closes himself off from me. I doubt it would happen again anytime soon although I really want it. I crave giving him head. I want him to shoot his milk down my throat. I want to worship his cock with my mouth. I showed him exactly how I would give him pleasure if he let me suck his dick. If he's closed off again today, what should I do? This has been a super slow process. We've had a ton of ups and downs in our relationship. But one thing hasn't changed and it's the sexual tension and I still want to fuck him. Should I blow past his standoffish behavior and push the issue, or wait it out again? I thought to blow past it since our encounter just happened and I could possibly get his dick in my mouth. I definitely don't want to wait anymore.

I know I shouldn't but I really want his dick.