I Really Wonder If My Accident Changed Me Forever

Following aa decision to move out west, I was hurt in a car accident. I had to go back home to convalesce. Back at the house, my Mom telling me what to do, complaining because I wasn't married, the same old spiel. Mostly in bed, or on the couch, moving only with a wheel chair, not able to go potty, or take a shower. That and the pain killers which I was overdoing. The word every grownup hates, dependent. Especially an empowered woman.

I had a nurse provided by the insurance, to wipe my butt. My Mom refused to do it, until she didn't have a choice. I went to the hospital every month, until I could walk again. Then one day they said come back in a year. And I was well again. I stayed, went to work for the school district, moved out into a garage apartment. I made a friend at work, a married girl.

One day, casually, she offered her husband. If I found I could use his attention.

So, I'm here to confess I let him work out his frustrations on me. While she coached him. For months it was a Saturday night thing. Even if that wasn't the best night for those things. One Sunday after a Saturday night I said I'm out. No more. Adios mother fucker, I'm going out west.

Two years after my first try at freedom, being my own woman. The short of it is I ended up under a cowboy. I won't say a red neck. I washed the dishes. I had to face myself, why is it that after you sleep with him you clean the kitchen and wash the dishes? So much for being an independent woman.