Finding Dominance?

I have never told anyone this, but i have somewhat of a Daddy - Little fetish. It’s weird cause i don’t really like a huge age gap, maybe a few years but i love when they act older. I love being kind of babied and taken care of. I don’t pretend like i’m younger, but when a man praises and babies me I’m literally dripping. Praise will have me on my knees in a heartbeat. I didn’t know i had this kind until recently. But i do recall one time when my Ex and i were smoking and for some reason i ended up on my stomach across his lap reaching for something and he spanked me and said some hot words in a dominant tone (i don’t remember i was balls high) but it literally flipped a switch in my brain. I wasn’t even sexually attracted to him but that action turned me on in a way i never had been. It kinda feels weird but I love when they’re more mature and they almost pity you. I don’t know if there’s another word for it.

Also i have a kind of thing mixed in with that where i wanna be edged until i’m crying. Pretty much restrained and edged or forced to finish over and over. Of course i’d have to be loved on and praised afterwards because after care is such a turn on. But i don’t know why i’m like this and i feel like i’m gonna struggle to find a partner that matches or fulfills all of that. Do i have hope? lol