Passed Atound When I Was Younger.

I never told this to anyone, but when I was younger, during high school, I had really low self-esteem. I was a little over weight but not alot but I was just akward really shy mostly.
I transfered in half way though the year due to my parents being miltary and I knew no one. All the friend groups were already made and I didn't really fit in any place.
Jay lived close by the school and was a stoner. I was waiting outside for the bus and he asked me if I i was new and after chit chatting he invited to his place to smoke some weed with him. I knew it it was not smart to go to a boys house alone but I had no friends and while he was not popular he was kinda cute and showing me attention. We went to his place and got high and of course he wanted something and I sucked his cock in return. It wasn't my first time and despite being shy I had already lost my virginity to the older brother of an friend from my last school.
That became the new norm after school, we'd smoke, and I'd suck dick, which led to him feeling me up and eventually full sex.
When he introduced me to his friends he never called me his gf which kind of hurt but that's what i get sucking and fucking for weed and friendship but at least I was not alone now. I don't know what he told him I was but they knew we fucked. And sometimes we'd all get high on the weeked and he'd fuck me in the next room and when we came out everyone would laugh, cheer, and joke about it while I blushed and turned red.
Then one firday night instead of taking me in the room he just causally like it was totally normal said to his buddy, "Robby, you go ahead and take her in there she's had me enough."
Robby didn't need to be told twice and soon we were in there together and I was freaking out. I asked Robby what the fuck was going on and he was like, "We like hanging out right?" And I was like yeah. And he was like "You like getting high for free right?" I nodded. He was like "Well, we all cover you a
because we all like having you around can't you at least pay some dues ocassionally?" I was embarassed but nodded yes. He smiled and said it would all be ok and friends help friends out. Nodding again I kneeled down as he unbuckled and put his cock to my face and I heard him moan "We are going to be best friends" as I took him in my mouth. It was unreal. Like a dream but I did it I blew him and let him fuck me. I didn't do it for the weed. I did it because I didn't want to be alone. I did it so they'd like me and keep me. And Friday night after friday night I worked my way through the whole friend group, one guy a weekend, until all 5 guys in the group eventually had me. After that I randomly slept with them all as they asked, some times more then one a night, not always.
They didn't treat me bad, everything was treated as just fun and I was a good sport for the team. It was like I was "one of the guys" only I had a pussy and was expected to use it. But I got mad respect ... nobody messed with at school or anywhere they all looked out for me. Still, if someone brought thier cousin or buddy with them I knew what I was expected to do, I knew my role in the group, and I did it without being told. That was my role in the friends group and with my low self image i synced to that role to fit in really easy.
Sometimes some of the guys shared me together or watched while I was fucked but mostly not because they were homophobic, lol.
This went on for two years, mostly on weekends, an even if they had gf's we all kept the secret. I know it was crazy, and I was being used, but I really felt like thier friend and that I was doing my part in the friends group. I got lots of sex, weed, and what seemed like respect so went a long with it as long as it was kept quiet.
My dad got transfered again for my senior year and as a senior in my new school I finally fit in. I graduated and went to college with my knew friends and have never admitted this to anyone. I am now married and pregant for the first time. I could never admit this to my husband. But sometimes I do touch myself thinking about what a hoe I was in highschool and nobody knows or would expect it now.
I everything I said here is true and crazy as it is to admit. I also never spoke to any of them again. I have looked a few of them up on Facebook but I didn't friend them because I don't want my husband to ever know.