A Need For Size

I’m 42 and married almost 20 years. I love my husband and would never ever cheat on him. We have satisfying sex and my husband is very giving in bed. My problem is that I can’t tell him he’s not as big as I want. It would hurt him and make him feel less masculine. He would take it very personally. So whenI have privacy and time I go down to our basement and mount a thick 8” realistic cock and balls on a support column, get on my knees, lube up, and back slowly into it until my knees are straddling the post and it penetrates deep into me. I’ve tried mounting it other places but the column allows me to wrap my legs around it for very deep play. Then I rock back and forth hard, ramming that big cock into my wet needy pussy. Other times I lay on the floor and mount the cock near the floor and lift and spread my legs and wrap a belt or towel around the post to be able to pull in hard against the post to create a deep pounding. Sometimes I fantasize it’s my husband and call his name and beg him to fuck me harder and deeper with his big cock. Other times I imagine it’s a celebrity….I’ve always had the hots for Bradley Cooper. Other times it’s a stranger. Other times it’s nobody, just nice big hard cock. Even though I orgasm with my husband, it’s not like this. With him I cum gently and soft. With my mounted friend I have full body convulsive orgasms that leave me limp, useless and melting. I’ll never have real cock this size, and I’m ok with that. This works for me. I wish I could open up and share this with my husband. It would be so naughty and such a release to share that I love big cock. But he can never know. So I had to tell someone. I just had to. God it feels so good to tell, to express, out loud sort of. I don’t even know why.