Straight Female / 24
It's Just A Blur.
This is not glamours but it's my real story.
Last year before going to rehab, things got really bad. I was high out of my head all the time. I would go days without sleeping to stay high.
I knew people like me with addictions like mine ended up eventually on the street sucking dick in parked cars. The further in I feel the more I just assumed that would be eventually me. After i burned all my bridges with my family and sold everything of value I had i was down on my luck I gave it up to my suppler a few times in trade and it broke me. I was offically a d-girl. A chickenhead.
The first night on a street corner was a new low. I come from a good family and grew up middle class and I got exposed to some stuff and it got out on hand. So falling this far to be walking the street looking to suck a stranger in a car so I could do what I do really made me hate myself. Thankfully I would not stay there. I blew an older guy that night in a nice car, but very into me. He made a comment about me being too pretty to be sucking on the street and that most out here where on there last rung but that was not who I was.
He asked me if i wouldn't rather work in a motel room and have guys come to me? He offered to take pictures for me and help me post ads on certain sites. Yeah I think you know what he really was and how he afforded that car. He turned me out to do much more then sucking dick and for about 3 months I stayed high without and slack in supply but most of it was a haze. I slept with countless men. Men I was to high to ever remeber. Sometimes protected and sometimes not depending on how high I was and if I cared or what they offered.
I am 5 months sober. And O.D. with a john present resulted in saving my life when he called 911 and bolted. I got into rehab. I got the support of my family back. I am ok I think.
Thankfully there was no std's that were serious or untreatedable.
I am telling you this because today I am triggered. I found myself looking up my own old sex ads and reading sw reviews of men who had me. I don't remember them but they recounted in detail sex acts I performed. There are pictures of me face out nude online that I can never take back. Even a few on realy bad sites I let guys take while I was engaged in sex acts. I could fight it. I could try to get it taken down but the truth is once its online it never really goes away.
I want to be clear, i just needed to vent. If you use sex workers I am not judging you, even if you know they are high. At the moment I needed those men. I was not ready to give it up and they kept me from being more extreme to feed my addiction. It's not a cautionary tale either to sw's not all sw's are users. If anything its just so strange to know, to read about it, even see pictures it and to know men had there way with me and even wrote about it and rated my skills, lol, wtf! Yet, its just a blur in my head now.
Thanks of listening. No judgement.
Last year before going to rehab, things got really bad. I was high out of my head all the time. I would go days without sleeping to stay high.
I knew people like me with addictions like mine ended up eventually on the street sucking dick in parked cars. The further in I feel the more I just assumed that would be eventually me. After i burned all my bridges with my family and sold everything of value I had i was down on my luck I gave it up to my suppler a few times in trade and it broke me. I was offically a d-girl. A chickenhead.
The first night on a street corner was a new low. I come from a good family and grew up middle class and I got exposed to some stuff and it got out on hand. So falling this far to be walking the street looking to suck a stranger in a car so I could do what I do really made me hate myself. Thankfully I would not stay there. I blew an older guy that night in a nice car, but very into me. He made a comment about me being too pretty to be sucking on the street and that most out here where on there last rung but that was not who I was.
He asked me if i wouldn't rather work in a motel room and have guys come to me? He offered to take pictures for me and help me post ads on certain sites. Yeah I think you know what he really was and how he afforded that car. He turned me out to do much more then sucking dick and for about 3 months I stayed high without and slack in supply but most of it was a haze. I slept with countless men. Men I was to high to ever remeber. Sometimes protected and sometimes not depending on how high I was and if I cared or what they offered.
I am 5 months sober. And O.D. with a john present resulted in saving my life when he called 911 and bolted. I got into rehab. I got the support of my family back. I am ok I think.
Thankfully there was no std's that were serious or untreatedable.
I am telling you this because today I am triggered. I found myself looking up my own old sex ads and reading sw reviews of men who had me. I don't remember them but they recounted in detail sex acts I performed. There are pictures of me face out nude online that I can never take back. Even a few on realy bad sites I let guys take while I was engaged in sex acts. I could fight it. I could try to get it taken down but the truth is once its online it never really goes away.
I want to be clear, i just needed to vent. If you use sex workers I am not judging you, even if you know they are high. At the moment I needed those men. I was not ready to give it up and they kept me from being more extreme to feed my addiction. It's not a cautionary tale either to sw's not all sw's are users. If anything its just so strange to know, to read about it, even see pictures it and to know men had there way with me and even wrote about it and rated my skills, lol, wtf! Yet, its just a blur in my head now.
Thanks of listening. No judgement.
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