Fingers Crossed

My first time I was seventeen, on a college visit, in a dorm with other girls looking at colleges. That afternoon my roommate and me had spoken to a guy in line when we were getting pizza. He was now in our room, I was on my bed, he was on my back fucking me. I was being pounded and looking at my roommate, eye to eye. When he got off he left.

She came over to my bed and asked me if I was alright. She laid down beside me and covered me, putting her arm around me. After that night she and I became lovers. Hugging with her was important to me. When we were warm we made love.

It took ten years for me to come to terms with that night in her arms and intercourse with a man. The last thing he wanted was a relationship and the last thing I considered was a relationship with a girl.

I am right now engaged to a coworker. He, insists and I want to have a family. He is aware of my past, he is pretty sure I have outgrown my girlfriend relationship, but is understanding if it comes back to life.