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Anything Goes
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Bi-Sexual Male / 47
Sexuality Acceptance
Even before puberty I began masturbating quite often. From the start I fantasized about both girls & guys and wasn't long before curious urges led to exploring anal masturbation. I'd use things like candles & hairbrushes and stuff.
By 18 I started going to adult bookstores and found the backroom video booths. From then on over many, many years I'd frequent them after the bar especially on stims. The feeling of stimulants, bi or gay porn and occasional brief experiments with men at them was such an intense sexual combination.
But I'd feel ashamed & self hate. Which led to lying to myself, making nonsensical rationalizations & the lonely secret life that built a wall between me & any real intimacy.
I tell myself thats not who I really am, just an anomaly.
Wasn't til a few years ago and my 2nd wife finding my dildo & not letting me deny my enjoyment of anal and start using strapons & vibrators on me did things change.
She eventually completely accepted I was bisexual before I did. She even puts on bisexual porn during sex at times & buys vibrators for me.
Finally overwhelming urges & adderall led me to want to know for certain if I truly would enjoy sex with a man. Found someone on grindr and finally had a real sexual encounter & first anal experience. The incredible sexual pleasure led to a few more encounters. It felt so freeing & natural. I learned how intensely it turned me on & got me off being a submissive bottom for a confident man. I knew immediately that I was bi.
After recently realising that the porn I watch, the fantasys and sexual desires I have predominately involve gay sex. I love taking adderall & long edging sessions submerging myself in gay porn. I have fantasy's of women knowing my secret and affirming I'm a submissive bottom that loves hard body men & hard c*ck. I feel I maybe I am actually homosexual, not just bi.
Problem is I only have ever had romantic feelings for females and never do towards men. I love everything about my wife and our relationship. But purely sexually there is no denying hot gay sex gets me off in a way that nothing else ever has. The few times I had gay sex had felt like finally unlocking my sexuality and freeing it. They were an all consuming sexually euphoric experience. I do still enjoy sex with my wife and still desire it, but having sex with men is sexually enjoyable in a way I never knew existed.
I stopped having encounters with men & do not want to cheat on my wife ever again. But I feel it's either lose the love of my life for a fully fulfilling sex life or give up experiencing my true sexuality but have the enjoyment of love & a real romantic life.
By 18 I started going to adult bookstores and found the backroom video booths. From then on over many, many years I'd frequent them after the bar especially on stims. The feeling of stimulants, bi or gay porn and occasional brief experiments with men at them was such an intense sexual combination.
But I'd feel ashamed & self hate. Which led to lying to myself, making nonsensical rationalizations & the lonely secret life that built a wall between me & any real intimacy.
I tell myself thats not who I really am, just an anomaly.
Wasn't til a few years ago and my 2nd wife finding my dildo & not letting me deny my enjoyment of anal and start using strapons & vibrators on me did things change.
She eventually completely accepted I was bisexual before I did. She even puts on bisexual porn during sex at times & buys vibrators for me.
Finally overwhelming urges & adderall led me to want to know for certain if I truly would enjoy sex with a man. Found someone on grindr and finally had a real sexual encounter & first anal experience. The incredible sexual pleasure led to a few more encounters. It felt so freeing & natural. I learned how intensely it turned me on & got me off being a submissive bottom for a confident man. I knew immediately that I was bi.
After recently realising that the porn I watch, the fantasys and sexual desires I have predominately involve gay sex. I love taking adderall & long edging sessions submerging myself in gay porn. I have fantasy's of women knowing my secret and affirming I'm a submissive bottom that loves hard body men & hard c*ck. I feel I maybe I am actually homosexual, not just bi.
Problem is I only have ever had romantic feelings for females and never do towards men. I love everything about my wife and our relationship. But purely sexually there is no denying hot gay sex gets me off in a way that nothing else ever has. The few times I had gay sex had felt like finally unlocking my sexuality and freeing it. They were an all consuming sexually euphoric experience. I do still enjoy sex with my wife and still desire it, but having sex with men is sexually enjoyable in a way I never knew existed.
I stopped having encounters with men & do not want to cheat on my wife ever again. But I feel it's either lose the love of my life for a fully fulfilling sex life or give up experiencing my true sexuality but have the enjoyment of love & a real romantic life.
