Boyhood Friend Breakup

I had to end my friendship with my best friend. As we grew older my bisexual needs became urgent. My best friend was extremely masculine, hyper aloha, a man’s man. He’s had 4 wives and always divorced because he had to fuck around. All four wives don’t blame him. They all actually gave him permission because they could not satisfy him. Anyway, I can’t be around my friend because I want him. I want his cock in my mouth and ass. He does not know and would not understand. I don’t want a romantic relationship, I just want to be his slutty cum-dump bitch.