Lesbian Female / 47
Sold Out For The Money,
I realize that my behavior then was not up to the standards expected of me today. I was a very poor lesbian living in a run down apartment with three other lesbian girls. Two of us worked as dancers, aka, strippers at a sleazy club. One of us worked as a receptionist clerk at tattoo parlor, and little old me was unemployed after being 'let go' from the Greek restaurant where I had a job.
A neighbor, I say that loosely, he lived in a high rise and drove a BMW, and he knew me from my job. He was worried about me and offered to move me in with him, no charge. He was pretty upset that two of my roommates were strippers and the sleazy friends they had. I was at the bus stop going downtown to interview for a job at a 'hamburger joint' in the tunnel when he drove by, he stopped and told me to get in. A split second decision and I got in his car.
Whether I liked it or not he was going to save me and put his foot down. He wasn't putting up with my behavior, and he was moving me in with him to take care of me. He refused to drive me downtown, 'his girl' didn't do that kind of job. He took me back to his high rise, and showed me the apartment, I didn't realize he owned it, in that building there weren't rentals. He told me he was a lawyer at a firm downtown, and after I cleaned up he would take me to get some 'things' because that 'crap' I was wearing was going in the trash.
He flew me to Las Vegas, so it would all be legal. I returned to join the world of the living. Gone in a flash was poverty, gone was waiting for my friend to bring me food out the backdoor of the Greek restaurant after I was fired. Gone was the world of strippers and dealers, gone was sharing a bed with a past lover after the flame blew out.
Incoming for me was a father figure and sleeping with a man, who thought of me more as a daughter and rejected outright any lesbian behavior. A man who 'took' me and 'made' me his 'wife'. I went from handouts to having a credit card, from living in a communal house to a high rise and a new car. I went to school to please him, and 'got pregnant' because I felt guilty.
I've lived as his wife now for a quarter century, I had a second child out of pressures from my mother. I haven't ruined my life, I'm a quiet lesbian in the shadow world who sold out to a man. My 'best' friend is another sold out lesbian married to an even older rich man. We don't flash, or 'embarrass' our families or show our true colors, our affinity to each other is carefully guarded. My husband knows, as do my children, I wasn't able to lie to him. So I have what can be called tacit permission. He's in his late sixties, that's not an excuse, but it has been a long time since his desires left him.
But in my own defense, when his desires were there I never refused him.
A neighbor, I say that loosely, he lived in a high rise and drove a BMW, and he knew me from my job. He was worried about me and offered to move me in with him, no charge. He was pretty upset that two of my roommates were strippers and the sleazy friends they had. I was at the bus stop going downtown to interview for a job at a 'hamburger joint' in the tunnel when he drove by, he stopped and told me to get in. A split second decision and I got in his car.
Whether I liked it or not he was going to save me and put his foot down. He wasn't putting up with my behavior, and he was moving me in with him to take care of me. He refused to drive me downtown, 'his girl' didn't do that kind of job. He took me back to his high rise, and showed me the apartment, I didn't realize he owned it, in that building there weren't rentals. He told me he was a lawyer at a firm downtown, and after I cleaned up he would take me to get some 'things' because that 'crap' I was wearing was going in the trash.
He flew me to Las Vegas, so it would all be legal. I returned to join the world of the living. Gone in a flash was poverty, gone was waiting for my friend to bring me food out the backdoor of the Greek restaurant after I was fired. Gone was the world of strippers and dealers, gone was sharing a bed with a past lover after the flame blew out.
Incoming for me was a father figure and sleeping with a man, who thought of me more as a daughter and rejected outright any lesbian behavior. A man who 'took' me and 'made' me his 'wife'. I went from handouts to having a credit card, from living in a communal house to a high rise and a new car. I went to school to please him, and 'got pregnant' because I felt guilty.
I've lived as his wife now for a quarter century, I had a second child out of pressures from my mother. I haven't ruined my life, I'm a quiet lesbian in the shadow world who sold out to a man. My 'best' friend is another sold out lesbian married to an even older rich man. We don't flash, or 'embarrass' our families or show our true colors, our affinity to each other is carefully guarded. My husband knows, as do my children, I wasn't able to lie to him. So I have what can be called tacit permission. He's in his late sixties, that's not an excuse, but it has been a long time since his desires left him.
But in my own defense, when his desires were there I never refused him.
- That's Juicy! 14
- Remove It! 5
